


Without you i'd still be trying to sleep with girls and getting into fights.

by Danny4Ziall



Category: Emmerdale
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-14
Updated: 2017-05-14
Packaged: 2018-10-18 22:28:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 29,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10626426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Danny4Ziall/pseuds/Danny4Ziall
Summary: AU where Paddy wasn't there for Aaron when he needed him most and it changes everything.





	1. Chapter 1

25th March 2010

Aaron sat on the cold, hard ground, his world slipping out of control. How could he have done this? All he cared about was Paddy not finding out why he had been at that pub, and now... Oh God. 

His knuckles were still hot from the collisions with Paddy's face, mindlessly looking down at his right hand, Aaron became aware it was covered in blood. Paddy's blood. He tried to rub it against the stone but the blood just smeared further across his hand, refusing to come off. 

Aaron knew he had to go back in, he had to face what he had done, so he stood up and headed towards the door of their house, Paddy's house. As he moved Aaron was aware of how numb he felt, he could hear the wind in his ears but couldn't feel it on his face, he could see his hand clasped around the door handle but he couldn't feel it under his grip.

When Aaron entered the house Paddy scuttled manically further into the corner of the room, like one of the terrified animals he saw in the vets when Paddy was trying to pull it out of its cage. 

"I'm so sorry Paddy, please don't be scared. I never meant to do this. I just want to help."

Paddy's eyes were wide with fear.

"What can I do? Anything, I'll do anything."

Paddy just stared at him, too scared to move. Eventually Aaron saw something flash across his eyes, a spark of something other than absolute fear but the moment passed and it was gone just as quickly as it came. What felt like an infinity passed and Paddy didn't move, didn't even blink, just breathed in fear. The tears rolled down Aaron's red cheeks.

"Please Paddy, I'm..." He reached out involuntarily and Paddy's eyes grew wider with terror, he tried to back up further but he had nowhere to go.

Eventually Paddy opened his mouth to talk but just stuttered sounds came out.

"D...D, Du Du, Don't."

"Don't?" Aaron sobbed in confusion.

"Don't, don't, you...don't do anything."

"Paddy please, let me help."

Paddy's eyes grew wide as he thought Aaron would try and come towards him again, but the fear seemed less primal than it had before.

"I meant, um, you don't need to do anything."

"I do, just look at you Paddy."

"No...no,no." Paddy spluttered, trying to get to his feet.

"Aaron, I'm O.K, it's... really not that bad... I, I was wrong to, to push you" Paddy stuttered unemotionally.

"No Paddy" Aaron pleaded "You were right."

"No...no I wasn't, I should have just left it."

Gone was Paddy's animalistic terror and he was at least responding to Aaron, but he could tell just under the surface Paddy was still rigid with fear.

"Please Paddy, talk to me."

"We don't need to talk...I, I was wrong and I pushed you and this...this, I shouldn't have got so close."

"So close?"

Aaron's heart was breaking, he knew, he knew he was loosing him and he couldn't stop it. There had been this voice in the back of his head telling him Paddy would leave him too, just like everyone else did, and here it was happening in front of his eyes.

"Don't say that Paddy, I know you were only trying to help me, I know that, and I...I did this." Aaron wept gesturing at Paddy's face.

Paddy just stared at him.

"Please don't turn your back on me now, cos of this. I need help Paddy, I can't stop it, it's up here and it's all the time and I can't... I can't get it out." 

Aaron banged his fist against his head, the blood on his knuckles left smeared marks against his temple. His expression full of frustration, self loathing but above all anger. The colour drained from Paddy's face as he saw the aggression on in Aaron, his mind flashed back to earlier that evening, seeing that same expression as Aaron had lunged for him fists first. 

Paddy's knees seemed to buckle and he looked like he was about to fall, but he gripped the wall and retained his strength.

"Aaron, it's...it's OK, I was wrong, OK, I know your not..."

"I am Paddy...I think... I am, please help me?" 

They stared at each other for what seemed an eternity, Aaron pleading, Paddy seemingly torn, unable to look away until he winced in pain and the moment broke.

"Aaron, I..I can't help you."

Aaron sobbed desperately.

"I know you are confused right now...but I can't do this, I can't be this for you"

Aaron buried his face in his hands and cried into his palms, hot tears soaking into the fabric of his hoodie. This was the end, he was so broken he had broken everything around him, and now finally he had broken Paddy. He was alone. In the darkness behind Aarons eyes he He begged silently "fix me. I don't want to be this anymore. Fix me. FIX ME. FIX ME." but there remained only darkness.

"Aaron?" Paddy asked tentatively.

Aaron opened his eyes and Paddy was far nearer to him than he had been, his arm outstretched nearly at the sleeve of Aaron's hoodie. Aaron jumped in surprise and in reaction Paddy scuttled back into the corner, whatever bravery had brought him so close had escaped him once again.

"Right" Aaron sniffed "I better go."

"No" Paddy whispered without looking up at Aaron.

"Its alright Paddy, really, thanks for..." He didn't know how to finish that sentence.

At that, Paddy crossed the room towards him again. 

"Please don't go Aaron, I know I said I can't...but I can't let you just leave like this."

Aaron shook his head "Nah, I can't stay after...this" He looked at Paddy's bloodied face "I need to go away, somewhere, so you will be safe"

Paddy just stared at him, seemingly unable to decide what to do, eventually his head gave the faintest of nods.

"I'm... I'm so sorry" Aaron began to weep again.

He pulled Paddy into a hug, and felt the larger man tense under him, turned to stone. Aaron quickly released and turned to the door, grabbing at the latch and walking out without looking back.

22nd July 2015

Aaron looked past his own reflection in the train window to the Yorkshire countryside beyond. He had spent most of the past 5 years in the city, but what he had seen of the countryside looked nothing like this. Yorkshire was different and although anyone naive enough to try and drum up a conversation about where Aaron had come from inevitably mentioned how beautiful it was, looking at it now he couldn't see any beauty, all he saw was the hugeness of the mistake he was making coming back here. The tinny voice echoed through the nearly empty carriage "Next stop Hotton". 

What the hell was he doing?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> OK so not the happiest first chapter, but don't worry plenty of Robron coming up :-)


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron returns to The Woolpack after five years away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please be aware this chapter references panic attacks

25th March 2010

Aaron walked up to Adam's house on Butlers farm, he had walked the whole way from Paddy's, the wind and cold had ensured his body was as numb as his mind by the time he arrived. Aaron stood outside the farm house not knowing what to do next, he couldn't just knock on, he had no idea what time it was and couldn't deal with Moira or John opening the door. His mind engaged and he picked up some small stones from the driveway and threw them at Adam's window. Adam poked his head out, just in time for the fifth stone to land inches from his face.

"Mate, what the hell are you doing?"

"I didn't want to wake anyone else up."

"If you didn't want to wake anyone, maybe try not throwing stones at the house in THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT!" 

"Alright, keep it down." Aaron tried to whisper, but loud enough to be heard over the wind so it wasn't much quieter than Adams shouting "I need to talk to you."

"Yeah, no kidding, alright mate I'll be down in a minute."

Adam opened the door and met Aaron outside, at this closer distance he could see the state Aaron was in.

"What's happened to you mate?"

The concern in Adams eyes pushed fresh tears to Aaron's face

"I've screwed up ... it's really bad."

"Oh Aaron, its O.K buddy" He pulled Aaron into a consuming hug.

Feeling Adam cling to him so tightly Aaron lost control and started sobbing uncontrollably into his friends shoulder.

After a while Adam pulled him off but held both his shoulders hard, looking him in the eyes "What's happened mate?"

"It doesn't matter." Aaron sniffed.

"It doesn't matter? Of course it matters, we have got to sort this out."

Aaron shook his head violently "No, no, its done...but I need your help."

"OK...OK" Adam pulled Aaron back in to the hug "What do you need mate?"

"Mhunnh" Aaron muffled, his face buried in Adams coat. Adam pulled him back "What was that?"

"Money...I need money."

"Oh no, you have come to the wrong person"

"Please, Adam, I'm desperate, I have to leave here and I have nothing, no phone, no clothes, nothing."

Adam's eyes widened with alarm.

"What are you talking about, leave? you can't leave. What about your Mum, and Paddy and..."

Aaron gasped in horror at the mention of his name.

"No, Adam, listen I know this is crazy but I need you to trust me, I have to leave tonight and you are the only person who can help me."

Adam paused.

"Aaron, what have you gotten yourself into?"

"Please?"

"Well I don't have a lot of choice do I?"

"You'll help me?" Aaron was surprised he was so sure his request was too crazy, even for Adam.

"Yeah mate, I'll help you, come inside."

"Inside?"

"Well yeah, you aren't gonna do a very good washing that blood off out here... Are you going to tell me about the blood?"

Aaron paused "I ... I can't. Pretty sure you will find out soon though" Aaron felt his guts twist as he imagined what Adam would think when he inevitably heard about Paddy's injuries and put it together with Aaron's state tonight.

"Get cleaned up and I will get you some cash."

Aaron spent a long time in the Barton's bathroom, he tried to clean himself up but more than anything he just stared at his reflection, unable to comprehend the person in front of him, feeling only disgust for what he saw reflecting back. Aaron tried to clean the dried blood from his temple, he wasn't even sure how it had gotten there. Once he was clear of blood he took another long look at himself, leaning in towards the mirror before spitting at what his reflection. It changed nothing, so he wiped the mirror with his sleeve and left.

When Aaron entered the kitchen Adam was there with a backpack.

"What's with the bag?"

"If you are gonna run away, you need more than cash, I got you a few things together."

Aaron tried to grab the bag, but Adam yanked it from his reach, smiling. 

"Have a look when you get to where you are going."

Aaron made another grab for the bag "The money?"

"It's in the side pocket, it's not a lot but it's what I could get."

Aaron peaked in the side pocket, shocked "This is more than... How did you get this?"

"We have a little stashed away."

"We?"

"Well, my parents do."

"Oh man, they are going to flip" Aaron exclaimed, realising for the first time the extent of what he had asked, and Adam had done.

"Hey, you let me worry about them, I'm more worried about you right now. But I swear down mate, if you come back in a few days I better get every penny of that back."

Aaron had been smiling but it fell at that last comment "I'm not coming back."

"I know mate."

There was a pause, before Adam pulled Aaron into a crushing hug. 

"You take care of yourself, yeah."

Aaron could hear the pain in Adams voice.

"I will, I owe you... like... everything."

 

22nd July 2015

Aaron's taxi pulled up outside The Woolpack, he paid the driver but hesitated before he got out, taking a deep, shaky breath. He wasn't ready for this, he really wasn't ready for this. The taxi driver seemed to disagree with that statement as he was getting very impatient, so facing the options of getting out or paying for a ride back to the station, Aaron exited the taxi.

Entering the pub, Aaron was hit by the familiarity of the smells and the sounds, like he was transported back to a happier time. For a moment he smiled, before realising the hubbub had died down and all eyes were on him. Aaron felt a stab of fear at the attention, but adopted a stern expression as he scanned the room until his eyes fell on Chas behind the bar. Admittedly not the first person he had hoped to bump into, although perhaps this was the wrong place to come in that case.

Chas stared at him, mouth open in shock, eyes wide and unblinking. She stepped back and moved around the bar, walking around the punters seamlessly, her eyes never leaving Aaron's face, as if she were afraid if she lost eye contact he would disappear into thin air. As she neared him, she began to slow down, reaching out her arms to tentatively touch his. She had a manic look on her face, like she was watching a horror movie she couldn't look away from, Aaron had seen that look on her face before and knew what always came next, she was furious and she was going to slap him. He began to cower reflexively, his eyes wincing, the last thing he saw before they closed was Chas ready to strike.

He waited, but nothing came, nothing, that was, until he felt an overwhelming force of his mum launching her body into his in something which existed between a grapple and a hug. 

"Oh" she breathed out, a breath she had been holding since he walked in.

"My boy."

At that Aaron's eyes started to well up and he could hear Chas start to cry, her face pushed against his ears.

"Mum?"

"Please, please don't leave me again." She begged.

Aaron let her hold him for a long time, he felt something inside which he hadn't felt in so long, a part of himself he hadn't realise he gave up five years before. Unsure how to deal with it returning whilst he was in her arms, he simply stood and held her.

The rest of the pub had begun talking again by the time they unlocked from one another, she still held onto him and just looked at his face, taking in his features. Aaron felt extremely uncomfortable at her inspection and as he tried to close his eyes to break the connection a tear down his cheek. His mum wiped across the tears trail trail and he offered her a bleak smile, she smiled back brightly for a moment before her face fell.

"Where the hell have you been?"

Aaron couldn't help but stutter a laugh and luckily she laughed back, light returning to her face, unable to not be happy in that moment.

"Mum, I'm so sor..."

"Hey, hey, there will be plenty of time for that" she cut across "right now your here and that's all that matters."

"Yeah." Aaron replied weakly.

"So. Lets talk."

"OK."

"I'm just going to pop into the back and wipe my face, bet I look a right mess." She laughed out "Then I'll get the drinks in, you take a seat and I'll be right back. DO NOT, I repeat DO NOT go anywhere."

"I wont Mum." Aaron muttered back.

As Aaron headed towards a seat someone grabbed his arm from behind.

"MATE!!!"

Adam had just entered the pub, a huge smile on his face, with Vic in toe.

"I can't believe it, you ca-"

Aaron jumped at Adam cutting him off "It's been so long!"

"Er" Adam replied, clearly taken back "yeah, its been, um, ages."

"Oh mate" Aaron continued "we have so much catching up to do, but my mum is in the back, and she is coming out in a min, don't think I can blow her off after 5 years do you?"

"Nah of course," Adam paused "but why don't you sit with me and Vic until she comes out?" 

Aaron smiled at Vic who beamed back a little awkwardly, but full of warmth none the less before they all made their way to a table. 

Sitting down there seemed to be a bit of an expectant pause over who was going to start. It seemed Vic was going to break the ice as she opened her mouth but someone walked into the bar catching her attention and stopping her.

"Oh my God, I need a pint!"

Vic immediately turned her full attention from their table, focusing entirely on the newcomer and beaming brightly. 

"Hey!" she yelled across the pub "What's up with your grumpy face?"

The man, seemingly equally enamoured to see her strode across to them, giving a nod to the bartender. Aaron gave Adam a quizzical look, but he just shook his head. Aaron couldn't decide what he thought of the intruder, judging by his demeanour he seemed like one of the rich city types Aaron had grown to hate in his time away, obnoxious and full of themselves. However there was something else, he had something of a grown up rural farm boy look to him as well. And then there was Vic's extremely familiar response towards him, something which Adam definitely seemed put off by but, but Aaron couldn't say he seemed threatened.

"I went to a machinery convention today hoping to get in with some of my old contacts, or make some new ones", the blonde stranger huffed "but of course, Chrissie continues to tarnish my name wherever I go. I don't know how she always knows who I am going to speak to and beats me there, every single time."

Vic rubbed his arm through his coat sympathetically "Ohh, it will get better, she can't stay mad forever, well not this mad."

Aaron was so lost, he was about to lean in to Adam to ask who this guy was, but Adam was already leaning in to whisper his own question, whilst everyone else seemed distracted. "What the hell was all that when I came in?"

"What?" Aaron replied, genuinely confused, his mind taken up by the stranger Adam didn't seem bothered Vic was rubbing.

Adam put on his best Aaron impression, scrunching his face up a bit and tightening his top lip "It's been so long, we have so much catching up to do?"

"Yeah well I didn't think it would be good if it got back to my mum that we..."

"Yeah sure, but you are back now so what does it matter?"

"I don't think she would see it like that."

"See it like what?" Chas interrupted between the two, holding a pint in one hand and a glass of wine in the other.

"Erm" Aaron looked at Adam, who replied with an equally blank expression.

Chas dropped the drinks to the table with enough force to make some of the pint splash across her hand. She shook her hand with an unhappy expression. 

"I'm going to go out on a limb, based on your guilty faces, and say that I am the 'she' you are talking about. Now the question is, what wouldn't I see like what?"

"Come on mum, I have just got back, why don't we have that talk?"

"Exactly" Chas screeched "you have only just got back and you are already sharing secrets with Adam and talking about me behind my back. You may have been gone for five years but you are still my son and I still know when you are trying to keep something from me."

Aaron and his mum shared defiant stares, neither one willing to back down until Adam interjected. 

"Look, its OK, no need to get heated yeah? I was just saying now that Aaron was back I didn't think you would mind knowing that we spoke a bit while he was gone."

Aaron didn't think it was possible for Chas' face to fall any further, but he was wrong. She deadpanned at Adam "You spoke to my son "a bit while he was gone"."

"Yeah it's just..."

"My son, who went missing for five years."

Adam didn't reply this time, in fact it seemed the whole pub had become lost for words, all watching the exchange silently.

"My son, who I cried over every single night... My son, who I begged you if you knew anything about, anything which could put me out of my mystery."

"Well he begged me not to tell you" Adam offered weakly.

Aaron winced, aware that was definitely not the right thing for Adam to have said.

"Well that's great!" Chas offered seemingly to the entire pub, putting on a fake smile. "I didn't know if my child was dead in a ditch somewhere, but all along you knew he was fine and YOU begged him to keep me in that hell".

"Alright Mum, it wasn't like it was a picnic for me either"

"Oh, I'm so sorry for you, Aaron, so sorry you were finding it difficult, but here's the thing love, if you were finding it so difficult you knew were I was. You could have called me at any time, any time! I could do NOTHING because I didn't know the first thing about where you were." 

Chas had started out with a cynical tone, but had gotten louder and angrier as she went on until she had erupted, her face red and her eyes watering, her booming voice filling the pub, but she wasn't finished.

"You have NO IDEA what I went through, NO IDEA what not knowing has done to me...but he did." She pointed a shaky finger at Adam.

Guilt that Aaron had been avoiding all this time bubbled up inside him, he knew on top of everything else, everything that made him leave and had happened since, he couldn't handle knowing what he had done to his mum too, but right now he had no choice, he felt like the was being crushed under the weight of it all. Aaron scanned the table, looking at Adam, who had his head down in shame, Vic who looked like a dear in the headlights and the newcomer who's expression Aaron couldn't read. Trying to understand what he saw in the mans face momentarily pulled him out of his dark thoughts, like a weak lifeline to a drowning man.

His mum continued "and if you think -" but the newcomer interrupted her "that's enough Chas, you are embarrassing yourself." 

Suddenly the entire pub who had been concentrating on Chas, Aaron and Adam, all seemed to notice the blonde man for the first time and all eyes were on him. Chas more than anyone stared him down.

"That is very rich coming from you Robert given how far you have fallen in the past few months."

Robert looked shocked and angry at the comment, aware that the whole pub was looking at him, he reddened under their gaze "My marriage is my business, Chas, so you, and Katie, should keep you big noses out if you know what's good for you."

In that moment Aaron hated the tone Robert spoke with, he didn't know the guy but he had made enough threats to know one when he heard it.

Aaron stood up sharply, his chair scraped across the wooden floor as it flung backward.

"I don't know who the hell you are mate, but I am warning you you better not speak to my mum like that ever again."

Robert scoffed indignantly "Listen 'mate', I only got involved because I felt sorry for you"

Aaron hated being pitied and the comment only made him angrier.

"Well next time stay out of it."

This time it was Robert who stood up.

"Or what?"

As Aaron felt his blood boil and his fists clench in rage, a quiet voice from near the bar broke through the maelstrom forming in his head.

"Aaron, don't"

It was Paddy's voice, he must of entered whilst they were all arguing.

Aaron stared at him, trying to read his face which looked a mixture of fear and shame and something else he couldn't put his finger on. At that moment he felt a hand on his arm, it was his mums, she looked scared too.

"I...I can't do this" Aaron breathed before dashing towards the exit.

He could hear chairs scrape as he moved, Adam standing, trying to catch his arm, Vic reactivity standing and reaching for Adam, and others probably trying to get a better look as he moved through the pub, but he was out of there quickly and away from their stares.

As Aaron strode across the road away from The Woolpack the weight of what had happened, of everything, returned with force. It felt like his heart thrummed under the pressure, his blood pounded through his brain, it was all he could hear rushed through his ears. He couldn't breath. The world spun as the ground came towards him. As he sat in a crumpled pile desperately trying to draw breath he felt a strong pair of arms surround him. 

"Alright mate just breath with me, just breath with me."

He could feel the man's chest against his cheek, expand and contract as he breathed deeply next to Aaron. He was too lost in his panic to assess who it was who had followed him out and had their arms tightly held around his body. All he could do was concentrate on breathing in and breathing out with the rise and the fall of the strangers chest, as he had been told to do.

 

 

26th March 2010

Aaron sat in Hotton station, it was 5am and the first train out wasn't for a few hours. He rested his head on the bag Adam had given him, trying to protect himself against the freezing temperature at that time Aaron had pulled his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around them, but he still felt his teeth chattering. As he sat, waiting, he questioned where he was going to go next, thoughts came into his mind about what Paddy would be doing right now, but he tried to push them away, he needed to forget Paddy, forget his old life. Whatever the future held, it was a fresh start and he knew he didn't have to be the Aaron that he had been, the Aaron who let everyone down, who hit people when it got too much or who went to...that bar. He hated himself and he wasn't going to be that person again. 

Aaron felt his head buzz, it confused him for a moment before realising it was the bag buzzing. Aaron opened the zip and he rifled through until his hand came across the source of the disruption, he recognised it as Adam's old phone from a few months ago. It had a new text on it:

05:04am

From: Me- New Number

Haha mate, didn't think you would get away that easy did ya? Like you said, you owe me, right? Well here's what I want - Not to lose my best friend! OK? So you keep this phone charged buddy, I wanna hear from my runaway real soon!

P.S. There's a blanket in the bag idiot :p

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Fun fact: In the proper timeline 22nd July 2015 is when Robert went to the machinery convention before meeting Aaron at the lodge...which didn't go so well for anyone.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron starts to reacquaint himself with the village, but struggles to deal with the pressure of being back.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this chapter does make references to self harm

29th March 2010

10:04pm  
From: Lil Runaway  
Got a place.

10:05pm  
From: Me  
Oh man, its good to hear from you, I was worried

10:05pm  
From: Lil Runaway  
It's not much but I can stay here a bit while I get a job

10:06pm  
From: Lil Runaway  
Cheers, again, for the cash

10:06pm  
From: Me  
Shut up man, you would have done the same. So where have you ended up?

10:14pm  
From: Me  
Aaron?

10:19pm  
From: Lil Runaway  
So hows things at home?

10:20pm  
From: Me  
Alright yeah, Mums mad but she will get over it

10:20pm  
From: Lil Runaway  
Haha sry.

10:20pm  
From: Me  
Listen, I saw Paddy, he doesn't look to good

10:21pm  
From: Me  
Don't freak out, I'm just saying

10:23pm  
From: Lil Runaway  
Whats he been saying about me?

10:24pm  
From: Me  
Nothin, mate nothin. Chas has been pushing him to say what's happened but he wont, wont even say it was you that did it... It was you right?

10:25pm  
From: Me  
I mean, it's the only thing that makes sense...but he was a real mess

10:33pm  
From: Me  
Mate?

10:41pm  
From: Lil Runaway  
This was a mistake

10:41pm  
From: Me  
No, it's not , look I'm sorry I asked. Plz reply

10:48pm  
From: Me  
I only brought it up so you know you can talk to me, I'm sry

11:01pm  
From: Me  
OK, look, I don't care if you did it, why you did it, it doesn't matter, your still my best mate no matter what. I got your back.

11:08pm  
From: Me  
OK?

11:56pm  
From: Lil Runaway  
ok

 

22nd July 2015  
Aaron felt the world fall back into focus, all he could deal with right now was breathing in and out, but at least he wasn't drowning. As he exited his fear state Aaron became aware of his position, he was on his knees in the middle of the road being held up by...someone, who was holding him very tight.

Aaron pulled away enough to look up and see the face of the person who was still saying "breath in" then taking a deep breath "breath out" pushing the air back out really dramatically. Aaron hadn't realised, but even though he had pulled away he was still subconsciously following the instruction, making over emphisised breaths of his own to copy. The sunlight behind was darkening the persons features, and their faces were so close Aaron's eyes were struggling to focus, but at last he came into view. It was Robert, the overly friendly with Vic - Robert, the threatened my mum - Robert, the I nearly punched you in the face - Robert.

Aaron pulled away sharply, but the motion was too quick for his still spinning head and he nearly fell again. Robert grabbed him by the arms to stop him falling, a look of shock on his face.

"Get off me!" Aaron spat.

"Shut up, I'm not here to fight, I just thought you could use a friend, so chill out and keep breathing"

Aaron stared at him in amazement, this was not the behaviour Aaron would have expected from the man he was arguing with moments earlier. As Aaron stared his body relaxed, and Robert slowly drew him back in. They stayed like that, faces inches apart just staring at each other - breathing. 

A commotion over Roberts shoulder drew Aaron's attention and he broke eye contact. Chas was coming out of the pub towards them, shouting.

"What the hell have you done? Get off him!"

Robert just froze, holding Aaron.

Chas came up and grabbed Robert by the collar pulling him off Aaron, still yelling "I said get off him" before much more quietly addressing Aaron as she bent down to hold him similarly to how Robert had been doing.  
"Are you O.K. love, what where you doing?"

Aaron just sat bewildered as Vic and Adam came out the pub, walking towards the group. Robert stood a couple of paces back, looking a little lost, before matter of factly stating "I was trying to help."

"Well he doesn't need your help" Chas spat back.

Robert threw up his arms in frustration and Vic rubbed his shoulder, saying "Come on, come with me."

As they walked off, Adam knelt down by Aaron smiling "You often sit in the middle of the road mate?"

Aaron ignored the question, pulling an arm free of his mum and pointing towards Vic and Robert as they walked away "Are you sure you should let them go off together?"

"Huh?" Adam replied

"She seems way to keen on 'I'm."

Adam stared baffled at Aaron before following the direction of his outstretched arm to where Vic and Robert were walking away. He paused momentarily before bursting out with laughter.

"Haha you can't be serious... thats Vic's brother, Robert...Robert Sugden."

Aaron stared dumbfounded and Adam continued to laugh.

"What you thought they were...? You really are an idiot you know that?"

As he laughed, Chas rolled her eyes, having had enough of them talking about Robert, so grabbed Aaron's face with both hands, centering his attention on her.

"Listen love, I am so sorry I lost it in there, one thing you should know is that I can still overreact a little sometimes."

"A little?" Adam interjected causing Chas to swing her head round and glare at him.

"Alright, maybe a lot, sometimes, I just love you is all and couldn't deal with you being away, so please please don't leave again just because I shot my mouth off."

Aaron paused for a moment before responding, getting his head to work properly was still a bit of a challenge.

"It's fine mum, really, I wasn't leaving, I just needed some air."

She smiled at him, lips trembling just a little.

"But mum, don't be mad at Adam though he was just doing what I said and he helped me a lot while I was gone."

Chas's face darkened a little "Just how much did you two talk while you were away?"

Adam tensed at the question but Aaron just looked at her sternly until she plastered another smile on "doesn't matter hey, important thing is you are back and we can deal with everything else later."

Chas began trying to pull Aaron up, and Adam reached over to help, once standing they walked back towards the Woolpack together.

 

23rd July 2015

Aaron woke up on Adam and Vic's sofa, it was too short for him and his back ached terribly. He thought how he must be getting older, he had slept in far worse spots than a slightly too small sofa in the past and never had this kind of pain when waking up.

Aaron heard footsteps as Vic entered the living room, already in her work uniform.

"Morning." He mumbled, his mouth not quiet engaging yet. 

Vic just huffed dramatically and hit him on the head with a magazine she had been holding as she passed. Aaron's hand shot to the point of impact, more out of surprise than anything. 

"What was that for?"

"Erm, you, thinking I'd cheat on my husband?"

Aaron frowned "I never said that."

"Please, as if I would, and not being funny but with Robert? Even if he wasn't my brother" she shuddered "just no."

"I'm sorry Vic, you just seemed really close."

"Yeah cos he's my brother."

"Alright, well I know that now."

At that moment Adam entered the room.

"Thank god, Vic, there you are, I was just about to go round The Woolpack to check you weren't having an affair with Diane."

She smirked and Aaron scowled.

"Ha Ha, very funny, tell you what if I had known you were going to be this funny I wouldn't have come back."

"Great, something else your mum could have blamed me for." Adam retorted jokingly, but the smile didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Alright, yeah, she did kinda lose it, but I told you not to say anything."

Adam frowned but settled on just changing the subject.

"So what you up to today Buddy?" 

"Well seeing as the only way I could get out of spending the night at the pub was to promise to go in today, I suppose I better go see my mum. Then I might drop by the garage, see if Cain can't give me my old job back."

Adam seemed taken aback by this "Mate, I thought we had a plan, and it didn't involve you working at the garage."

"Yeah, but I'm pretty sure we said we need a little thing called money?"

"Right, I know..."

"And how do we get money"

"Yeah, by working, I get it, but..."

"Right so getting a job would be a good start then."

"But" Adam continued "it would take you months, maybe years to make enough cash from working at the garage to start our own business. It took me months just to convince you to come back and do this, I can't wait for that, I wanna do this!"

"So do I, you think I would have come back here if I didn't, but we still need money."

"Well what about investors?" Adam offered with a frustrated tone.

"What about them?"

"We could like get one?"

"Sure" Aaron nodded "and how long will that take? Meanwhile I can start saving up some money from the garage, while we try and get someone to give us the cash."

Adam pulled a sad expression, kind of like when Clyde was being told off, but eventually nodded anyway "O.K you win, I just don't want to wait."

"Neither do I, we will get it sorted thou, yeah?"

There was short since before Victoria got up "Well as enjoyable as it has been listening to you two talk about finance" rolling here eyes dramatically "I have to go to work."

"and I need to have a shower" Aaron added quickly, stretching his neck from side to side.

Victoria kissed Adam as she left the room, and distantly Aaron could hear the front door click as she left. He stood up and started walking out to go to the bathroom, but Adam grabbed his arm as he passed. Aaron looked at his hand, then up to his face quizzically.

"Look Aaron, don't get me wrong I am really happy you are back and excited we are doing this but come on; you spent five months telling me to forget the business because there is no way I would see your face here again, then suddenly its the best idea ever and you have to rush home before we even have a plan. I know there's more to this than you just changing your mind"

"I changed my opinion, there's a difference." Aaron shot back

"Come on, do I look like a mug."

Aaron paused, then huffed. "Alright yeah, there is more to it than just that, but I really want to start a business together, I always did."

"Alright I believe you, but are you going to tell me what happened to change your mind...sorry your "opinion"?"

Aaron stared at him for a long time, cheeks reddening as he felt Adams eyes pleading him to answer. 

"It's complicated."

"Yeah, it always is with you."

Aaron shifted uncomfortably "Look, I'm back like you wanted, please just be happy and lets move on."

Adam paused before letting out a long breath finally releasing Aaron's arm.

"OK...OK mate, I will drop it, I know when to back off." 

Aaron offered him a weak smile before ducking past him to head to the bathroom, desperate to get out of there.

 

As Aaron walked the short distance from Adam and Vic's place to The Woolpack he enjoyed the feeling of the warm sunshine on his face and the smell of summer in the countryside. It had been totally different in the city, the heat and still summer air just made him feel constricted, like his clothes were too tight and the buildings around him were placed too closely together . Adam trying to press him about why he really left so suddenly had shaken Aaron, brought things to the forefront of his mind he was working very hard to forget. When he had been in the shower, memories crashed behind his eyelids, Aaron had stumbled for the power level in the darkness, turning it up as high as it would go. The memories still chased him until his hand fell on the temperature level and he pulled it towards himself; only then did it feel like they fell off away, being pulled out of his skin by the heat and washed down the drain with the water. By the time he left the shower he felt unusually calm, happy even, until he remembered he had to go and meet his mum who, knowing her, might well also start probing about why he was back.

Aaron's enjoyment of the finer points of summer in the countryside were abruptly interrupted when he noticed Paddy walking in his direction, eyes fixed directly on him. Aaron reflexively changed directions, but it didn't really work out here when there wasn't a crowd of people to get lost in. Paddy started speeding up, shouting after him "Aaron...Aaron!"

Aaron ignored him and tried to walk faster, but Paddy did a little run-walk and tapped his shoulder.

"Are you alright Aaron, your neck is really red?"

Aaron's hand shot up to his neck reflexively, it was still hot to touch. 

"Erm yeah, I just had a hot shower"

Paddy's eyes opened wide in surprise.

"A hot shower? How hot? You are really red!" he tried to look at the back of Aaron's neck again, but Aaron pulled away from him, silently wishing he had worn a hoddie.

"Alright Paddy" he spat sharply.

Paddy pulled back at that.

"What do you want?" Aaron continued, but without the venom this time, he just sounded impatient more than anything.

"I just, just wondered where you were heading?" 

"The pub."

"But... the pub's that way" Paddy responded pointing in the direction Aaron had originally been heading before he saw him.

"Right" Aaron responded with a condescending tone "but then I realised I forgot something so headed back to the flat" pointing in the direction he was now heading.

"What did you forget?"

"What is this 20 questions?" Aaron snarled

"OK." Paddy drew back a little further. "Look I just, I just wanted to say about yesterday..."

"Forget it yeah" Aaron barked looking away.

"No, not that, I just wanted to say... it was good to see you...back I mean. It was good to see you back. I know it wasn't ideal but I was, I was really happy to see you."

Aaron looked at the older man for a moment but he offered nothing else Aaron responded "Right, well you have said it now haven't you?"

"Yeah, I suppose I have." Paddy replied meekly

Aaron began walking again, but Paddy started up again.

"Could we maybe talk, a bit, you know, catch up?"

"I can't I have to go meet my mum, she's waiting for me."

"Right well some other time?"

Paddy had a hopeful look in his eyes and Aaron felt guilt creep up his spine for how short he was being with him.

"Maybe." Aaron offered before walking off towards the pub

"Aaron?"

"What?" Aaron snapped and Paddy backed up further.

"I...I...what about the thing you forgot" he pointed in the direction Aaron had been heading when Paddy caught up to him.

Aaron just shook his head and started heading towards the pub again, shouting over his shoulder "I'll get it later."

When Aaron entered the pub, causing the door to slam back against the wall with the force he had inadvertently pushed it with he was met with disapproving eyes; but they were Diane's disapproving eyes and not his mothers, which was something he supposed.

"Good to see you back Aaron" she said curtly, before eyeing where the door had just hit the wall with a disapproving look.

"Diane" he nodded his head in what he hoped was an equally curt motion.

"Your mums not here Aaron, she's had to go get some change for the till, but she said to tell you to stay put if you turn up while she's gone."

Aaron hovered by the door, unable to decide if he wanted to leave of not.

"She won't be long" Diane exclaimed, her eyes giving Aaron little choice but to walk further in to the building. As he walked along the bar he spotted Robert down the far end trying to catch his eye.

"Hey, Aaron, how are you feeling today?" 

Robert approached him with a genuine smile.

Aaron just looked him up and down with a scowl. 

"Fine...thanks."

"Whoa, what's up with you?"

"Nothing, just people are really bugging me today." Aaron exclaimed

Robert looked like he was about to respond with a witty comment when something clearly caught his eye and his face fell  
"Hey what's up with your neck?"

Aaron's eyes widened and he pulled back reflexively "None of your business."

"It looks really bad"

Robert tried to lean around to get a better look.

"It's just a bit of sunburn."

Robert eyed him for a moment unsure how to proceed, before he relaxed back into his easy smile. "Sunburn huh, look at me blond hair, pale skin, I just have to look at the sun and I go red."

Aaron offered a clearly fake smile before returning to his scowling, which induced another awkward silence.

"Sooo..." Robert tried "can I get you a beer?"

"Why would I want a beer from you?" Aaron shot back.

Robert dropped his smile. 

"Look I know I didn't make a good first impression and I'm sorry, but I was hoping after helping you in the street we cou-"

"I didn't need your help." Aaron cut across.

"Well it sure looked like you did yesterday."

Aaron shook his head "What do you know."

Robert paused, clearly thinking of another way in.

"Fine how about this then, I'm Vic's brother and you and Adam are clearly close. I just got divorced and don't have any mates, you have just come back home and don't seem to have a lot of mates, seems like we should try and be at least civil to each other."

Aaron eyed Robert suspiciously, so Robert continued:

"Aaand, you are waiting for your mum to get back so you clearly have nothing better to do."

Aaron couldn't help but smirk a little, but ducked his head to try and hide it before nodded in agreement, Robert smiled at this and his gaze passed Aaron to Diane to get their drinks. 

As they headed towards Roberts table Robert laughed "You should be grateful you know, I never normally work that hard to get someone to let me buy them a drink."

Aaron smirked "Oh yeah, bet they are lining up to listen to how easily you tan."

"Come on, face like this...nobody cares how good the banter is."

Aaron shook his head, he couldn't believe the ego on this guy.

As they sat down Robert eyed Aaron "So you made quite an entrance yesterday, was it always plan to return with a bang."

"Not exactly."

"So what was the plan then?"

"Dunno turn up, keep my head down, 'suppose"

"What just turn up out of the blue after five years without a word and hope nobody makes a fuss? Great plan that."

Aaron was about to shoot back an insult, annoyed this guy was mocking him again, but when he looked at Robert he had a huge grin on his face, a look which was totally disarming. Aaron's scowl broke into a grin of his own reflexively.

"Alright, yeah maybe it wasn't the best plan, how would you have done it?"

"Oh I dunno, mass email, advert in the newspaper...skywriter something where everyone could know at once but I was nowhere near by."

"Nice, avoid the fallout."

"Best way...or you know you could have just called ahead?" Robert offered

"Well tell you what mate...next time I want to dramatically turn up without the agro I will just call you first for advice."

"Well you would need my number for that" 

Aaron eyed Robert, he had been enjoying the easy banter but that last comment had caught him a bit off guard. Robert stared at Aaron expectantly, lips just slightly parted but when Aaron didn't offer a response he carried on easily, making Aaron pretty sure it had just been a joke.

"So what's brought you back?"

"Erm..." Aaron shifted uncomfortably.

"Sorry is that question too personal, tell you what, meet me back here in five years and you can tell me then."

Aaron joke scowled before smirking again "I can see you really like winding me up."

"I like to stick at what I'm good at."

"What and that consists of annoying people?"

"Oh no, I have plenty of other talents."

Once again Aaron wanted to respond, but the look in Roberts eyes threw him off, like Aaron should have got what he meant, but truth was he had no idea. 

Aaron trying to work Robert out had awkwardly cut a line through the conversation again and Roberts smile dropped a little, but again it was Robert who restarted the conversation.

"So is it a secret?"

"Huh?" Aaron furrowed his brow in confusion.

"Why, you came back, is it a secret?"

"Oh." Aaron forced his face to relax "Kinda actually."

Robert looked a little alarmed.

"Well not properly." Aaron huffed, why was he telling this guy "You know yesterday, with my mum?"

"I vaguely recall" Robert joked

"Yeah well, given how she was about Adam talking to me while I was away I want to wait a few days before I let her know I am coming back to start a business with him."

"Why, surely she knows the worst of it?"

"Maybe, but so far she only knows we chatted, if she knew we were planning a business, she would realise how close we were."

"Think she might be jealous?"

"Not exactly...I just think she might be mad that we carried on so closely when I kinda cut her out of my life."

Robert seemed to be thinking "OK...i think I get that... Sooo why did you cut her out your life?"

Aaron had been taking a swig of his drink, but his eyes widened at the question and he pulled back, gulping loudly.

"OK...OK, sorry, too far" Robert laughed awkwardly. Aaron just nodded lightly.

"A safer topic then, what's the business?"

Aaron relaxed, he liked that Robert seemed to be aware when to let go, when most people round sensed he didn't want to talk about something took it as an invitation to push him for details, either sensing gossip and being nosy or to try and get him to "open up" and "talk about it".

"We are thinking about scrap metal."

"Scrap metal?" Robert raised his eyebrows.

"Yeah I know, kinda lame...but -"

Robert cut across him "No not at all, one persons trash being another's treasure, it has the makings for the perfect business model."

Aaron laughed 

"Do you ever listen to yourself "it has the makings for the perfect business model"." Putting on his best impression of Robert.

Robert smiled "Now who is the one who likes winding people up?"

"I like to stick to what I'm good at" 

"yeah and that's definitely annoying people"

"I have plenty of other talents" Aaron shot back, parodying what Robert had said earlier.

Roberts eyes lit up at that last comment and heat rose into Aaron's cheeks at the sight of it. He didn't know why but he felt really uncomfortable under Roberts gaze at that moment so he said the first thing that came in to his head, just to end the silence.

"Well, um, I'm glad you think its a good idea, if we can just get an investor to agree we will be away."

Roberts straightened up at that "You are looking for investors, why didn't you say?"

Aaron looked a little uncomfortable "I think I just did."

"Well I could invest."

"You...invest in us? Why?"

Robert paused "Well like you said, I think it's a good idea."

Aaron didn't know what to say, completely shocked by the turn the conversation had taken. He thought for a moment before blurting out "Aren't you broke?"

Robert seemed to go a little red at the comment, his easy expression slipping "What makes you say that?"

"You where moaning yesterday about someone blocking you from getting any business?"

Robert rolled his eyes.

"Yeah my ex wife, but that's new business. When we split I got a nice little payout, which I am trying to turn it into a fully fledged business, something she seems determined to stop me from doing."

Aaron nodded, his mind still focused on the offer Robert had made.

"Look" Robert continued, seeing where Aaron's mind was going " have a think, talk it over with Adam and let me know. If you are interested you guys can write me a proposal and we can go from there."

Robert waited but when Aaron just continued to nod mindlessly, so he offered to get them another pint

"Yeah please." Aaron replied, breaking free from his thoughts.

Aaron watched Robert as he grabbed their glasses, got up and headed towards the bar, following him with his eyes as he moved. Aaron was surprised but he was finding Robert really easy company, he seemed totally different from the stuck up city boy Aaron had initially assumed him to be. Sure he was a bit arrogant, but he was down to earth enough to laugh at himself. More than that he made Aaron feel really at ease, he didn't seem nervous around Aaron and he made Aaron laugh.

As Aaron thought about Robert his eyes had been gilding over the man as he stood at the bar, as Aaron's gaze returned to his head he was suddenly aware that Robert wasn't facing the bar at all, he was looking directly at Aaron with a massive smile on his face. Aaron was immediately pulled out of his daydreaming and he felt his face go red with embarrassment, he straightened up and looked away from Roberts gleaming expression.

Robert came over moments later, as he put one of the pints down in front of Aaron he leaned in so only Aaron could hear him.

"You see something you like?"

"Huh?" Aaron responded tersely.

"You were definitely checking me out just now"

Aaron scoffed, but felt his cheeks redden even further.

"No I wasn't."

Aaron was furious, he felt the heat rise as it had done the day before and his fists clench by his side. What did this guy think, that he was some weirdo who just perved on guys in pubs? And what if someone else had heard? What would they think?

"It's alright, its allowed, I'm not gonna deck you." Robert replied, a smirk still dancing across his lips.

Aaron managed to calm down enough to release his fists, noticing briefly how painfully his fingers had been digging into his palms. He looked Robert directly in the eyes, Roberts own expression weakened a little under Aaron's stare. 

"Well, I'll remember that for when I stop being straight!"

With that Aaron pushed up and stormed out the pub for the second time within 24 hours. Robert had stood back reflexively as he had passed him, and Aaron just caught the look of utter shock at Aaron's reaction as he left.

As Aaron exited the pub he heard the door bang, then a few steps away he heard it bang again, letting him know someone had followed him out. At first he thought it was Robert and whipped around to tell him to back off, but he was surprised to see Katie follow him out, he hadn't even noticed her as he left. Still worked up from his confrontation with Robert he struggled to talk normally.

"Katie, hey, it's been a while."

Seemingly uninterested in pleasantries she caught up to him "Aaron, I wanted to talk to you."

Confused about what Katie would possibly want to say seeing as he had only just come into town Aaron just nodded, so she continued.

"I wanted to tell you to stay away from Robert."

Although Aaron couldn't think what she could want he recognised that wasn't even close to being on the list of possibilities. He tried to wrap his mind about why she would say that.

"Why, you got a problem with me?"

A brief smile passed across Katie's face "No Aaron, I'm trying to look out for you, Robert is bad news OK."

Aaron was tempted to tell Katie he could make make his own decisions, but he was curious 

"Why do you care?"

"Look he's a really bad guy and I wouldn't want you to get mixed up with him, it would kill Chas if anything bad happened to you."

"What's he done that's so bad?" Aaron replied, still totally confused as to why Katie felt a need to warn Aaron off.

Katie paused "He tried to ruin my wedding for starters."

"So?"

"What kind of guy tries to ruin their brothers wedding and isn't even sorry about it?"

"What did he do?" Aaron asked, curiosity still getting the better of him.

Katie looked down at her left hand before crossing her arms. 

"I don't want to talk about it."

Aaron scoffed at that "Not being funny Katie, but why would you follow me out here if you didn't want to talk about it."

"Please, just trust me Aaron, he's bad news."

"I get you hate him because he messed with your big day, but what does that have to do with me?"

Katie huffed "It's more than that."

There was a pause, when it seemed Katie wasn't going to offer any more information Aaron stared at her "Yeah?"

"He's done something really bad, OK?"

"What?"

Katie looked a little awkward "Well, I don't know exactly."

Aaron shook his head, beginning to walk away, but Katie made a grab for his arm, he was to quick for her but it was enough to recapture his attention

"Aaron wait. You know he is getting divorced from his wife?"

Aaron nodded.

"And you know that she's loaded right?"

"I got that impression"

"Well why do you think she has left him with nothing?"

Aaron pulled back at that. 

"She hasn't left him with nothing"

"is that what he has been telling people?"

"Dunno, but if he had nothing why would he offer to invest in mine and Adam's business"

As soon as he had said it he knew it was a mistake. Katie's eyes went manic, clearly being given a new piece of information about Robert had stirred something in her. Aaron found it uncomfortable to watch and told himself to ensure he didn't let her know anything else Robert had said. Her eyes darted for a moment, thinking through where this fit into whatever she was up to, before she noticed Aaron looking at her uncomfortably and plastered a calm smile back on her face. 

"Aaron, you really think if Robert was flushed with cash he would be living above his step mum's pub surrounded by people who hate him? Going to machinery conventions to try and schmooze nobodies?

Aaron eyed her suspiciously "how did you know Robert was going to the machinery convention?"

Katie just purse her lips.

Aaron considered walking off again, but he couldn't understand what Katie was getting at or what she was up to. He also had to admit she did have a point, Robert didn't seem the type to live at the pub if he had a lot of money, he would probably be enjoying the finer things in some penthouse apartment. But then why would he be offering to invest in Adam and Aaron's business if he was broke?

"OK, lets say you were right and she left him with nothing, what does that even prove?"

Katie's eyes lit up, clearly happy to share her thoughts on this subject.

"Robert married into one of the richest families in the area, he even became a director with a share in the business, but when the marriage falls apart he leaves without a penny? Legally he had rights to plenty of Chrissie's assets even if the marriage had only lasted a few months. The only way he would leave with nothing is if he agreed to."

Katie stared at Aaron like she had just presented the smoking gun, but he really wasn't getting it.

"So?"

"So why would he give it all up, unless he had something to hide?"

Aaron opened his mouth to respond but she cut him off 

"At first I thought it was an affair, it seems up his alley, but he loves money way to much to give it all up just to stop people finding out he's a cheater. No there is something more, something he doesn't want anyone to know about, something Chrissie must have found out about to blackmail him out of the business."

Aaron's eyes were wide.

"You are ... really obsessed with Robert."

The excitement in Katie's eyes wilted at that.

"Fine don't believe me."

"I'm not saying I don't believe you, but what does it matter? Everyone has secrets, why not just leave Robert to his?"

She scoffed at that "You don't know what he's like."

Aaron could see he wasn't going to get anywhere, and besides if Katie wanted to waste her life chasing Roberts skeletons that was her bad decision to make, so he just shook his head and walked away.

Katie didn't make a grab for him this time, but settled for shouted after him instead.

"He's a bad guy Aaron, and I will find out what he's hiding."

 

20th November 2014

Robert and Chrissie rushed out of their house at Home Farm looking for Lawrence, Chrissie was beside herself with fear, screaming for him. Robert was beside himself as well, but for different reasons. 

How could the plan have gone so wrong, it was so simple; hire Ross to rob Home Farm, Robert rushes in and saves the day then Lawrence starts treating him with the respect he deserves. But in truth Robert knew where it had gone wrong: Ross was a loose cannon. Sure Chrissie coming home unexpectedly didn't help but Ross had thrived off the chaos, loving watching the fear on Chrissie's face as he had held them captive for hours. Having finally scoured the house of its valuables and forcing Robert to empty the safe, he had left. 

Robert hated watching Chrissie terrified and helpless, now all he wanted was to hold her tight until the pain of what he had done would go away, for both of them. But she was totally focused on finding Lawrence so Robert would get that out the way, there would be plenty of time for comforting her later.

Thinking about where he had met Ross, when he had said that Lawrence had "got a bump on the head" Robert shouted to Chrissie "Maybe he's in one of these outbuildings?" Chrissie, desperate to find Lawrence ran in the direction Robert had suggested without a second thought and pulled the first door she found, there was a brief pause followed by a scream which shook Robert to his core. Now scared himself he ran in after her to find Lawrence lying motionless on the ground. Chrissie fell to her knees and Robert rushed past her inspect Lawrence.

Robert tentatively reached out touched his hand first... it was cold, feeling the pit fall out of his own stomach Robert started babbling "no...please no" as he reached up to check Lawrence's neck for a pulse. There was nothing. He looked back at Chrissie who's face was streaked with tears, breath held, eyes silently begging Robert. He gave the slightest shake of his head and she screamed again, the sound like none he had ever heard. Silence rang out momentarily before Chrissie broke into uncontrollable wails, her fists balled up so tightly, protecting her face from the scene in front of her.

More than anything Robert wanted to put his arms around her and shield her from this but he found himself anchored to the ground, fingers fingers still on Lawrence cold neck unable to move. Eventually he tore his eyes away from Chrissie, finding himself instead transfixed with the expression on Lawrence unmoving face, the image of it burning into his brain. Roberts lips parted and under his breath, inaudible under Chrissie's cries the words spilled out "What have I done?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies to the Lawrence fans out there (are there Lawrence fans out there?) but i felt Aaron's presence at the Home Farm robbery was a big dampener on Ross, who seemed to be enjoying himself way too much. So this seemed the likely outcome of an Aaron-less heist. 
> 
> I would love to know what you think of the story so far.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Set in 2012, Adam is having a hard time at home so comes to stay with Aaron for a few days. Adam's POV.

"And then they just said it, like it was that easy." Adam mumbled, not even looking at Aaron for a reaction anymore.

"Said it would be best for all of us!" Adams eyes shot up and met Aaron's face, But Aaron was just casually chewing his nail, a moment past before he realised Adam had stopped and he quickly shifted to look as if he was listening. Adam carried on regardless.

"Tell me something, if there are five people and three want one thing and two want another how can the thing the two want be best for all five?"

"Come on mate" Aaron grumbled "you know maths isn’t my strong suit."

Adam glared at Aaron with frustration.

"Maths? I’m not asking about flaming maths am I?"

"Erm..."

"I don't get it, my parents are getting divorced, I thought you would be a bit more sympathetic."

"Alright" Aaron responded defensively "I was, I mean I am, but you’ve been like this for two days solid, you just keep running over the same thing."

"Yeah, I know, I’m trying to get my head around it, aren't I?."

Aaron looked like he was going to argue, then paused for a second easing his expression.

"Look, i am here for you and that, you can always come crash here when stuff gets heavy, but talking isn't exactly my strong suit is it?"

"Yeah i know and i really appreciate you letting me stay here while i sort my head out."

Aaron paused not knowing what to say to that so Adam continued:

"Besides, you may not be any good at talking but seeing as you don't say much it makes you the perfect listener."

Aaron smirked at that and took a sip of his can. 

They were sitting in the small room Aaron rented in an old terrace house on the outskirts of London. It looked as out of date on the inside as it did outside with textured wallpaper, artex ceilings and a serious damp problem. Aaron's room had a single bed with a hard mattress which Adam was currently sitting on, a desk and an arm chair which looked like it was over 30 years old, covered in a faded and stained red fabric. Aaron was currently sitting on this chair with his legs over one of the arms and his back against the other arm with his head resting on the corner of the desk. Adam found the room really depressing whenever he stayed, but Aaron had clearly tried to make it his own space, having plastered the walls with pictures of girls from FHM and a serious collection of cars from magazines. Adam didn’t think it made the place look any brighter but he was pleased for Aaron he had got on his feet well enough to have a place of his own and do what he wanted with it.

"Maybe that's what girls see in you?" Adam thought out loud.

"Huh?"

"Any girl i have ever been with always go on that they want me to listen to them more yeah? But lets be honest, with your level of conversation you basically just let people talk at you basically without saying anything back. So im just saying maybe that explains how the hell you keep getting girlfriends as fit as the girls you get." 

Adam held out his two hands, pretending they were weighing scales that matched to really drive the point home. He thought he was pretty funny but Aaron just looked at him with a disgusted look on his face.

"Oh yeah, cheers mate, nice to know you think so much of me."

"It was a compliment." Adam laughed

Aaron put on a fake cheesy smile "Hmm pretty sure it wasn't."

"If i wanted to insult you i would have talked about what makes them run a mile when they get to know you."

Aaron's face fell and Adam could tell it was genuine, realising he had gone a little too far.

"Sorry mate” he stumbled his words awkwardly “I keep forgetting you just broke up with Kaylee."

"That's probably because you have done nothing but talk about yourself since you got here." Aaron snapped back causing Adam to silently dip his head.

Kaylee had been the latest in a line of girlfriends Aaron had had since he moved away. Each had been extremely fit, talkative, young and outgoing, each had also left him after about 3 to 6 months. Adam would ask why but Aaron seemed as confused as he was, repeating the reasons they gave but none of them made a lot of sense to either of them. Kaylee had been a couple of years older than the other girls Aaron had been with and seemed to deal with him a little better. When Adam had been around them he saw that Kaylee was able to read which of Aaron's silences meant keep talking and which silences meant shut up. After Aaron inevitably bit her head off over nothing she never stayed mad at him for long and she seemed to really like being around him unlike some of the other girls who had said he got to clingy. It had lasted 7 months and Adam had started to think she might be the one to break the cycle. In the end however it happened just the same as the rest, with Aaron moaning she had gone distant about a week and a half before she called it off with him. Adam asked him why, apparently she had said “she wanted more than he could offer”, whatever that meant?

Adam lifted his head and gave Aaron his best ‘i'm sorry’ eyes. Ones Aaron had never managed to stay mad at yet.

"I'm sorry, really, i know you liked her."

Aaron just scoffed and took another swig from his can causing Adam to roll his eyes.

"Don't play the hard man, you can’t tell me you didn't like her."

Aaron shook his head. "What does it matter, clearly wasn't worth it."

Adam knew a lost cause when he saw one and didn't think he was going to get much out of Aaron about how he felt about Kaylee leaving him, even if he knew Aaron was cut up about it.

"You know what you need?" he offered, changing tact.

"No...what?"

"A good old fashioned one night stand."

Aaron shook his head again "No, you say that every time."

"Yeah, because its a good idea every time."

Aaron paused awkwardly for a moment, fingering the ring pull on his can.

"I'm not into that." He said, but it was barely audible as he had gone so quiet and he was staring at the floor.

"What do you mean, you are not into that? How can you not be into that?" Adam boomed back a little louder than he had intended.

At that moment the ring pull snapped in Aaron's fingers and to Adams surprise he flung it at his head.

"We are not all like you Adam, alright?"

Adam ducked but the piece of metal was way off target anyway, bouncing off the wall and sliding across the floor near the door. He watched its trajectory before giving Aaron an angry glare.

"Yeah i know that, but i don't know anyone our age who doesn't want to get with a fit bird."

"Just shut up yeah?"

 

Adam paused "Why are you getting defensive, i'm just saying?"

"I'm not the problem mate, its you!" Aaron spat back. 

"Me? Why am i the problem?"

"You always made me feel like this, even back then."

"Like what?" Adams raised his voice to meet Aaron's who was practically shouting, but unlike Aaron, Adam purposefully didn't have any venom to his tone.

"Like...guilty, like there was something wrong with me for not wanting to shag every bird who walked past."

"What? Are you mental? I never did that."

"Yeah you did, used to right mess with my head as well." 

Adams eyes were wide, he didn't know what to say, he had never heard this off Aaron before. Aaron on the other hand had his eyes practically closed, seemingly trying to shut Adam out as he relived something that was clearly painful.

"You made me feel like i should be like you, like it was weird i wasn't, and you still are." Aaron's eyes shot up suddenly fixing on Adam's defiantly "But its not weird, being out here by myself i finally get that. I like to know a girl first, i like to feel safe with her, know that she isn't just some slapper who will give it up to anyone, i like to know shes someone i can, like... respect"

Adam laughed "Respect?... This isn't a fucking romance novel Aaron."

Aaron scoffed "I knew you would be like this."

"I'm sorry mate, i don't get it alright? I never wanted you to be more like me... and i don't get why you think i was making you feel bad cos you weren’t when i honestly never cared about that stuff."

Aaron just shook his head, anger on his face.

"You didn't know how i... what it made me ..."

"What?" Adam blurted out, frustrated he was being painted this way, it didn't make any sense.

Aaron didn't explain, just carried on as if Adam wasn't there, lost in his own thoughts, staring into his can.

"Even when i with Holly, you made me feel like -"

"Whoa" Adam interrupted, forcing Aaron to look up, tears brimming in in his eyes.

"Holly was different O.K. i wasn't mad at you because you weren't trying to shag her. I just thought -"

"Yeah i know what you thought" Aaron cut across sharply.

Adam paused, he recognised talking about this was only going to make his mate more upset, but he needed to know where all this was coming from.

"Can you blame me?"

Aaron took a deep breath in just shaking his head as if he didn't want to go on with this, but Adam had made his mind up.

"No, come on, if we are talking about this lets talk about it...what happened...in that car -"

Aaron started shaking his head more violently with his head down and his eyes screwed closed, but Adam continued.

" - it did make me question what you wanted with Holly...or me i guess"

Aaron was all out crying now, tears from his eyes and hitting the stained red fabric of the chair. Eventually he spoke through them, just above a whisper.

"you told Everyone!"

Adam gulped, feeling guilt hit him square in the chest. 

"Yeah and i'm sorry, but she was my sister."

"you made everyone think i was ..."

"come on, nobody thought that, they -"

"YES THEY DID" Aaron shouted across him, making Adam lean back, banging his head against the headboard of the bed.

"You don't know how people looked at me after that, it made me sick!"

Aaron put his head down and started to cry more heavily, Adam looked at his friend and chewed his lip, unsure what to do next. Truth was he didn't think about it often, but he had sometimes wondered why Aaron had done what he did that night. Trying to kiss him was unlike anything he had done before or since and he had never even got Aaron to even address it had happened until now. In this moment he really wanted to ask why he had done it, but looking at his mate right now... he had never realised how messed up Aaron had been by the fallout of that night. Adam couldn't understand why it had hurt Aaron like this and he couldn't understand all that stuff before about Adam making him feel bad for not wanting one night stands. It made Adam sound to be a really bad mate, something he never thought Aaron would think of him and he wanted to know why. Ultimately though, watching him cry, Adam knew his own curiosity wasn't as important to him as Aaron was. Sure, he didn't make a lot of sense to him sometimes, but Adam knew who Aaron was under all that and the truth was none of the rest of it really mattered.

Adam lifted himself off the bed and walked over it to the chair, putting his hand on Aaron's knee. Aaron who had started crying into the crook of his arm, looked at the hand with horror and tried to draw back. Adam grabbed his arm to keep him where he was causing Aaron to stare at Adam with a horrified look on his face, shaking quietly.

"Look mate" Adam began, trying to talk calmly "I didn't think through what would happen when i said that stuff. Even afterwards it was done it didn't occur to me it might mess with your head. Truth is at the time I was only thinking about Holly and you deserved better than that. You are my best mate and I'm sorry. Thinking back yeah, i'll admit it did make me question things." 

Adam paused, wondering how to continue for the best. 

"i'll admit there was a part of me that thought maybe you were gay and i probably shouldn't have done, but to be fair you wouldn't talk to me about it so i had to kinda guess what was going on, and you know me mate, without help i'm probably going to get the wrong end of the stick." 

Aaron sniffed, looking very uncomfortable, but Adam continued 

"Whatever happened and whatever i thought... or made you think, it doesn't matter now. Obviously i wouldn't have cared if you were gay, you know that, but i know you weren't now, i mean clearly." 

Aaron smiled weakly at that, so Adam smiled back continuing 

"this all happened like a million years ago, you are my best mate and we have been through so much bigger than this, what do you say we just forget it, yeah?".

Aaron paused for a moment before quietly nodded his head, gulping before speaking

"i haven't even thought about it for ages either, dunno know why i got bothered about it tonight, guess i had one too many of these" he said shaking his nearly empty can "and i think.. just miss Kaylee i think"

"Yeah" Adam nodded before he pulled his mate into a hug, made awkward by their position on the chair.

After they released, they sat similar to how they had been for a moment, Adam's hand still on Aaron's knee, until a loud buzzing indicating Adam had had a text broke the atmosphere and Adam jumped back a bit before heading to his phone.

"Haha, speak of the devil, its from Holly."

Aaron smiled, a little less weakly than before.

"Oh my god!"

"What is it?" Aaron asked, looking genuinely concerned.

"They got back together."

"What?"

A huge smile spread across Adams face and he started jumping.

"Mum and Dad, the divorce is off!"

Aaron still looked a little confused but Adam jumped across the room, pulling him off the chair and into a huge standing hug."

Adam laughed infectiously.

"Right, get your gear on, we are going out!"

"Huh?"

"We have to celebrate!"

Aaron groaned audibly "i really don't feel like it mate"

Adam grabbed Aaron's shoulders forcefully "Listen, my mum and dad are back together and that means i need to head back and see them, making this our last night, so get your stuff on, we are going out."

Aaron still didn't look convinced, but Adam knew when he was getting his own way.

"Tell you what, how about we find you a nice girl, someone to take your mind off Kaylee"

Aaron stiffened a little "i told you mate, i don't want a one night stand"

Adam laughed "I know mate, i know, and we won't, i'm gonna find you a girl you can respect all night long.", he gave Aaron an evil grin safe in the knowledge that nobody else would be able to get away with taking the mick out of him like that. It worked of course and Aaron met him with an evil grin of his own.

"Fine, suppose i should celebrate finally getting rid of you"

"That's the spirit" Adam responded going over to a pile of clothes Aaron kept in the corner and pulling out a black shirt, "wear this mate, you need to look your best if this is going to work"

 

26th July 2015

11:15am  
From: Adam  
Just ran into Robert, dude why didn't you tell me?

11:16am  
From: Me  
What?  
There's nothing to tell

11:16am  
From: Adam  
You didn't think you needed to tell me he wanted to invest?????

11:19am  
From: Me  
Oh yeah. didn't think you would go for it, you don't even like him

11:20am  
From: Adam  
Are you mad? i don't have to like him if he is giving us a ton of money ££££££££!

11:21am  
From: Adam  
Dunno what you did to him, never thought he would invest in us EVER or i would have asked him myself. Whats your secret? HAHA

11:28am  
From: Adam  
where r u BTW?

11:31am  
From: Me  
Doesn't matter, I dunno if we should go with Robert, sounds like a right dodgy guy.

11:33am  
From: Adam  
Nah, he's alright, hes a bit of a dick but hes Vic's brother and she swears deep down he's a good guy.

11:34am  
From: Me  
Argh, dunno.

11:34am  
From: Adam  
AARON. STOP WORRYING. Get your ass back here so we can start working an awesome proposal. HAHA ITS HAPPENING MATE:-DDDD

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So in my head this was just the intro to the next chapter, but i'm trying not to let each chapters word count go crazy and i kinda felt an insight into how Aaron deals with his sexuality shouldn't be rushed.
> 
> Kudos and comments are extremely welcome, love to know what you think. Aaron talking about girls was always going to be a bit weird, do you think the chapter explained where he was coming from at all?


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aaron and Adam prepare for their big meeting with Robert whilst Katie and Chrissie have a meeting of their own.

31st July 2015

Aaron, Adam and Vic all stood in the narrow hallway leading to Adam and Vic's bedroom. It was a tight squeeze but it was the only place in the house with a full length mirror and Vic had insisted on helping them look "presentable".

"I don't get why we are even wearing suits." Aaron grumbled.

Adam opened his mouth to respond, but Vic got there first.

"Yeah, you know, it doesn't matter how many times you say that its not going to change the fact that you are."

Adam smiled "He said he wanted to do this properly...so we are doing it properly."

"If he wanted to do this properly he wouldn't have asked us to meet him at the pub."

Vic took the lead again and Aaron got the distinct impression they were tag teaming him.

"The setting isn't important, what's important is that you two show him you are serious and you could actually make a real business of this."

"It is a real business!" Adam shot back, sounding a little hurt

"Yeah I know." Vic responded, seemingly on the back foot "I wasn't saying it wasn't, just saying you have to show him that."

Vic stood in front of Aaron blocking his view of the suit in the mirror. She inspected the half windsor knot he had tied in his tie with a displeased look before shaking her head and pulling it apart to start again. Aaron rolled his eyes, but was amused to see over Vic's head, Adams reflection in the mirror pulling the same face.

"Come on Vic, we are going to be late, he told us to meet him at 12pm and its already five to."

Vic huffed "Well, Robert isn't going to be too happy if Aaron look's like he just rolled out of bed, is he?"

Adam laughed "I really don't think Robert is going to care whether Aaron looks like he just got out of bed."

"Exactly." Aaron cut in.

"Hey, shut it, I wasn't talking to you." Adam countered with a grin on his face.

"Right!" Vic exclaimed, giving the tie a final tug and patting the lapels of his jacket, admiring her handiwork. "You are good to go."

She looked over both of them, raising her hand to her face as if to wipe her eye and putting on a horrendous impression of someone trying to hold back the tears "My little boys, all grown up."

Adam laughed but Aaron just scowled.

She looked at her watch "Right you have got to go, out, out."

Vic made an exaggerated shooing motion and they started shuffling along the small hallway. As they passed her she smiled fondly at Aaron and gave Adam a hug, Aaron could hear her whisper in his ear "You are going to be great."

 

Adam and Aaron walked towards the Woolpack, drawing stares as they went. Even though he had been away for a long time Aaron still knew the majority of the faces and Adam certainly knew the rest of them. Everyone who knew them knew them well enough to know that the only reason they would ever be in a suit was for a wedding or going to court...and there were no weddings on today. Aaron had never liked to be the center of attention before and five years in the city where nobody took any notice of anyone had made the attention upon his return even more uncomfortable. He started to duck his head a little under the pressure before his eyes found a figure amongst the villagers and he ducked down completely, pulling Adam in front of him.

"Oh God! There's Paddy"

"Where?" Adam asked looking around wildly.

"Don't look, you will make it obvious!" Aaron hissed.

Ignoring him, Adam continued to scan the area before he visibly relaxed and pulled Aaron up by his shoulders.

"He's on the other side of the village you muppet, I don't think he could even recognise us from over there."

Aaron looked over Adams shoulder and relaxed himself a little realising that Paddy was indeed far further away than he had thought when he had initially noticed him. 

Not wanting to admit his reaction was unproportional to the situation, Aaron chose to ignore it.

"Lets just get inside, yeah?"

"Why don't you just talk to him, you can't keep ducking behind me every time he is near you, you live in the same village for god sake!"

"That's the problem, he is everywhere, every time I turn around he is there asking if I'm OK seeing if I want to go for a chat or a catch up."

Adam looked at Aaron like he had three heads "Yeah sounds like a really monster."

"I'm not saying he's a bad guy, I just wish he would take the hint I don't want to talk to him."

Adam paused, seemingly trying to weigh up two options in his head before huffing and taking a quick glance at his watch. "Look, we are late for our meeting so I am going to give you the short version of this."

Aaron rolled his eyes, not wanting a lecture at this time, however short.

"You clearly have some issues with Paddy, whatever happened to cause you to rearrange his face was terrible, I'm sure". 

Adam gave him a look which let Aaron know he wasn't sure. In fact Aaron would guess Adam was fairly sure that Paddy didn't deserve what Aaron had done at the time. 

"But it was a long time ago and now for whatever reason, Paddy still cares about you!" 

Aaron shifted uncomfortably under the weight of Adams eyes but he wasn't giving up that easily.

"I never asked him to care about me did I?"

Adams gaze turned harsher, clearly running out of of patience. 

"Well that's tough mate. You can't choose who cares about you, and if you did have a choice Paddy should be at the top of the list."

Aaron shook his head, he really didn't need this from Adam right now. Adam gave him a look of disappointment.

"God you are really selfish, you know that? Did it ever occur to you that maybe he wants to talk to you for himself, not for you?

"I..." Aaron realised the thought hadn't occurred to him, that actually he hadn't thought about why Paddy wanted to talk to him at all, just that he didn't want to talk to Paddy.

"And I know I still don't know what happened between you two when you left, but seeing how he looked after and the fact he still defended you, maybe you owe it to him to talk to the guy if that's what he wants."

Aaron felt really awkward, he had been desperate not to talk about this, but Adam always had a way of getting around him, making him think about the things he didn't want to. Aaron knew the main reason he was avoiding Paddy was because he really didn't want to deal with what he had done that night. Aaron couldn't imagine Paddy hating him less now than he did and the last thing Aaron wanted was to go back there. But Adam had a point, given what he had done to Paddy, if he wanted a chance to get off his chest what he thought of Aaron he was probably owed it.

"Look..I'm sorry alright, I just hate thinkin' about the past."

Adams expression softened "I know you do buddy."

There was a short awkward pause before Adam smiled at him. 

"Tell you what, come with me and we ace this presentation, then I will forgive you for being such a massive tool."

Aaron scowled jokingly at that.

"Alright lets do this."

 

 

23rd July 2015

Chrissie was just lifting the wine glass to her lips, already envisioning the feeling of the liquid cascaded down her throat when the door bell rang. Instantly frustrated by the interruption, she eyed her glass longingly before dropping it to the kitchen counter with a clang. 

By the time Chrissie had gotten to the door the bell had been rung a further three times, she could tell from the platinum blond hair through the glass that it was Katie and she let out a little groan. As she pulled the door towards herself she plastered on the best smile she could muster, but couldn't quite hold it as Katie walked in and past her, completely uninvited before the door had swung fully open.

Chrissie reapplied the smile "Katie, so good to see you...but I thought we weren't meeting until tomorrow?"

Katie did a quick scan of the hallway, before rounding back on to Chrissie, giving her a brief fake smile of her own.

"I know, we were, but I heard something which just couldn't wait."

Chrissie felt herself smile at this, and knew it was genuine this time.

"Great, why don't you come through to the kitchen?"

Katie nodded curtly, following her through.

"Wine?" Chrissie offered pouring a second glass.

Seemingly distracted, once again scanning the room before her eyes settled on the glass, she shook her head.

"No thanks, too early."

Unconcerned Chrissie took the glass in her own hand and enjoyed a long sip, she eyed the other glass she had poured for herself earlier questioning whether she should put it in the fridge before deciding she would probably drink both before it warmed too much.

"So what's this news? Has Chas been chirping again?"

"No, but you are close."

"Diane? I thought you said she was getting suspicious of you?"

"No, I am pretty sure she is a lost cause, keeps changing the subject if I even mention Robert. No this came from Aaron!"

Katie gave Chrissie a look like that should mean something but she just stared blankly "And who is Aaron?"

"Aaron! Chas' son!"

"Chas has a son?" Chrissie exclaimed in surprise.

"Yeah, how do you not know that? She talks about him all the time."

"Funnily enough, I don't spend enough time around Chas to really know what she talks about." 

Chrissie took another sip of her wine.

"I don't think I have seen him around though."

"Well you wouldn't, he ran away five years ago"

Chrissie felt a small spark of interest in that although she was unsure why. These days the only things which she found would interest her were tidbits about Robert she could work into some kind of plan, everything else seemed to pale by comparison to such an extent she could barely feign an interest in most topics. That was why she liked spending time with Katie, beyond her general usefulness for finding information out about Robert which she wasn't in a position to get her hands on herself, she was also equally enamoured with the idea of plotting his downfall. Chrissie smiled to herself. Katie didn't even know the real reason why they was plotting against Robert but in the end it didn't really matter, she hated Robert just as much as Chrissie did. Granted Katie hadn't lost anything like as much as Chrissie had thanks to the man, but he had that affect on people once they got to know who he really was. Sure her and Katie didn't have a lot in common, in fact she didn't particularly like Katie, although she didn't particularly like anyone anymore, but in this one cause they were united and that was the best friend she could ask for now.

Chrissie realised whilst she had been thinking about Robert and Katie she had lost track of the explanation of the circumstances under which Aaron had left, and Katie's thoughts on what had finally brought him back. Tired of nodding along she interrupted:

"And what does this have to do with Robert?"

Katie paused, knocked off her flow.

"Yes...right...well I saw him talking to Robert, Aaron that is. They seemed to be getting on really well, so well started to feel sorry for Aaron. I knew him before he left and he's not the type of person to know if he is being manipulated. I was thinking about going over and saying something -"

Chrissie rolled her eyes at that, Katie may be a match for Chrissie in hatred of Robert, but she definitely lacked her ability to stay focused on the goal.

"- But I didn't get a chance before Aaron got up abruptly with a face like thunder and walked out the pub!"

Chrissie smiled "Clearly the boy has more about him than you are giving him credit for."

Katie shook her head "I wouldn't be so sure, I went out to try and find out what had gone on but he was practically defending Robert." She started to smile wildly. "But that's the good part, he was so busy defending him he let slip that Robert had offered to invest in his business!"

Chrissies eyes grew large with surprise. She had been working very hard to ensure Robert didn't have anything to invest with and anyone to support him, as far as she was aware she had been doing a good job. As her mind went over the story something stuck out to her.

"Why did Aaron leave?"

"Huh?" 

"Just because Robert had offered him some money, you would think he would be happy about that, not storming out the pub."

Katie screwed up her face, seemingly a little confused by the question "I...I don't know if that is why he left. He didn't seem particularly annoyed about the money, if anything he seemed more annoyed I was trying to warn him off."

Chrissie thought to herself 'he's not the only one' as she herself was frustrate Katie had been so direct about her dislike of Robert and that it had clearly prevented her from getting more out of Aaron. Chrissie sat processing the information she did have, but could see out of the corner of her eye that Katie was looking at her, trying to decide whether to say something.

"What is it?" she asked in a monotone which she hoped let Katie know she didn't really care.

"Well...it's Just...Aaron seemed pretty confident that Robert was in a position to invest, he even said that Robert had said you left him with money. But you promised me you hadn't left him a penny."

Chrissie looked at Katie with a disgusted expression "Of course I didn't leave that monster any money. I couldn't bare to think...not after -" 

She cut herself off, but the sight of Katie's eyes lighting up let her know she had stopped a little late.

"After?" Katie pushed

"Doesn't matter." Chrissie responded bluntly to let her know there was no point pressing her for information on this again.

"But" Chrissie continued "what does matter is why Robert is lying to this Aaron about being able to invest in his business...what's in it for him?"

Katie stared silently, clearly without any ideas, to be fair Chrissie had none either.

"Whatever the case, it seems he wants something from this Aaron, enough to lie to him anyway, and if he wants something that gives us something we can use."

Katie looked a little confused "How can we use it if we don't know what it is?"

Chrissie smiled "Now that we know there is something is there, it means we know where to start digging."

Katie nodded her head "You want me to speak to Aaron again?"

Chrissie shook her head "No, it sounds like you gave Aaron a bit too much, it will be unlikely he will trust you, you keep working on Chas, let me have a go at Aaron."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So i just wanted to explain that I know Chrissie is significantly different from what we know her to be. I wanted to show that the loss of her dad and the circumstances around that really changed her and she is in a really dark place. I tried to take pointers from other times she has been hurt and desperate and i feel like she goes kinda hollow and a bit mean. I am saying this because I know she is only showing that side here but i didn't want you to think i was setting her up to be this two dimensional "baddie" who is just going to mess with everything just for the sake of some conflict.
> 
> Anywho, I hope you are enjoying reading, I am really enjoying writing it. 
> 
> Next chapter is a Robron one :-)


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unsurprisingly the big investment meeting doesn't go to plan, but Aaron and Robert start to understand each other a little better.

31st July 2015

As Aaron walked into the Woolpack behind Adam he felt nerves hit him. He didn't think he should feel nervous, whatever was going on with Robert he didn't feel that anything that he would say in the next half an hour would have much of an impact. Robert seemed like the kind of guy that knew what he wanted any attempt to persuade him otherwise was pointless. Either he genuinely thought they had a good business idea or had no intention of investing - possibly because he didn't have any money - and all this, the meeting, the suits was... Aaron didn't know, possibly just some game for his amusement?

Upon entering the pub he saw Robert, also wearing a suit, but that wasn't a surprise, he always wore a suit when Aaron had seen him. He stood up and gave them a welcoming smile. Walking over to them he commented "That's not exactly what I imagined you wearing" before his eyes centered on Aaron "works for me." Robert's sly grin as he studied Aaron in a suit made him feel extremely uncomfortable, like he was the butt of a joke he didn't understand, but Adam seemed oblivious that it was Aaron who was getting so much focus.

"Yeah, well you wanted to do this properly, so we thought..." Adam didn't finish.

Robert tore his eyes away from Aaron, his expression turning professional once more. 

"No, its great, its good to know you can scrub up when you need to. Should we go into the back?"

"The back?" Aaron questioned, finally tearing his eyes away from Robert who he hadn't stopped looking at since greeting the other man.

"Yeah, I thought probably shouldn't have our first business meeting in the pub." Robert laughed.

"Hey, that's what Aaron said!" Adam responded, remembering Aaron's complains about the location earlier, he either hadn't realised or hadn't cared Aaron was just finding an excuse to complain about the meeting in general and didn't actually mind where it was held.

"Brilliant" Robert said with a cheery smile, "lets go through then."

"Actually could I borrow Aaron for a minute" a timid voice called from behind them.

Aaron turned to find Chas directly behind him, her hands clasped together in front of her, looking the least threatening Aaron had seen her in Roberts presence to date.

"Of course, we will go through, come when you are ready Aaron" Robert offered with so much pleasant charm you would think he and Chas were old friends. Chas, for her part, managed a weak smile, thinly veiling her obvious dislike for the man, but Robert seemed unaware. Her eyes followed the other two as they walked around the bar in to the back, once out of sight she focused on Aaron.

"Hi love, everything OK? You look very ... erm ...serious." Clearly noticing his unease since he walked in the pub and saw Robert.

"Yeah well its a business meeting isn't it, I think you are meant to take these things seriously" he responded, intentionally twisting her words.

"That's not exactly what I meant."

"Well what did you mean?"

"Nothing, I guess." She paused, considering what to say next "I like the suit." she commented, clearly taking the safer option.

"Thanks, I don't though...sorry was there something you wanted?" Aaron huffed out, he knew his mum well enough to know when she was trying to get at something and he felt himself become annoyed that she was choosing this moment to start.

"Just wanted to say hi before you went in...and maybe talk you out of it." Chas admitted, giving up the pretence.

Aaron rolled his eyes "Mum, we have talked about this."

In truth that was an overstatement, Chas had heard through Emmerdales consistently reliable grapevine that they were meeting Robert for him to invest in their business and had decided two days prior the best thing to do was wade in with her opinions about Robert. Aaron had told her to leave it as soon as she had started then walked out of the pub without giving her any further opportunity. He had been dodging her ever since, but between her and Paddy in a village this small it had been a difficult couple of days.

"Please son, will you just listen, he's bad news."

"According to Katie!" Aaron groaned.

"According to everyone! I know you haven't been here very long but look at the people who have been around him for long enough, nobody trusts him and nobody likes him -" 

"Vic likes him" Aaron cut across "Diane likes him, Adam may not particularly like him but he trusts him enough to pin his future on him."

"Vic sees the best in everyone, you know that." Chas started, without missing a beat. "Diane has to like him and even then she has to work bloody hard at it and Adam... well Adam is so desperate to start some ridiculous business he will take whoever is stupid enough to go along with it."

Aaron stared at his mum with anger, allowing the emotion to pool in his stomach, it wasn't enough she was trying to ruin this simply because Katie had been bad mouthing Robert, but she had to push it that little bit further insulting Adam and Aaron by association. True to form once Chas had finished talking she took a moment, as if to let the words that she had just spoken process through her brain (something most people did before they allowed them out of their mouths), realising the insult she had the decency to at least look regretful.

"I didn't mean -"

"No you are right" Aaron fumed "Adam is desperate to do this, and you know what so am I, you should be too, really, because its the only reason I am here" he paused, but decided in his anger to follow though with the final blow "and if it falls through I wont be sticking around."

Chas had a look on her face as if some had stabbed her through the heart, somewhere deep inside Aaron knew he felt guilty the effect his words had, but he was also angry, too angry for him to want to fix it. Instead he stormed past her out the back. He was nearly though the door before she pulled herself together enough to produce a limp and sad "Aaron please."

 

When Aaron entered the back room, Robert and Adam were chatting by the kitchen table, which had been laid out with two chairs quite close to each other at one end of the circular table and another chair exactly opposite to them. The lone chair had a pad of paper, pen and pencil as well as a jug of water next to a glass. The two chairs on the other side had nothing. 

As Adam and Robert turned to look at Aaron, Adams face noticeably fell "everything OK mate?" Aaron stumbled, annoyed that his frustration was clearly showing "yeah I'm fine, just mum." he rolled his eyes trying to play it off as something so unimportant it was funny. Adam didn't look convinced but Robert brightly smiled "Great, so we can get started then."

Robert pointed them to their seats and undid the button on his jacket as he moved to sit in one swift motion. 

"OK guys, I have been looking forward to this all week, why don't you get started?" he beamed.

Adam eyed Aaron nervously, then opened his mouth to speak but his phone rang out cutting him off.

"Sorry, let me just turn that off."

Aaron looked at Robert who was gazing back at him, their eyes locked and the moment seemed to stretch on, Aaron expected Adam to start talking which would break their eye contact but he didn't. Eventually Aaron forced himself to look away from Robert and find out what was keeping Adam from starting, Robert followed his eyes and they both looked at Adam, who was still looking at his phone and had started to mutter "No, no, not now."

"Something the matter?" Robert asked politely.

Adam stared at him, then his eyes flashed to Aaron who could see concern across his face "Er...no it's nothing."

"Its clearly something, what's up?"

"No, its just my mum, apparently a fence has broken and we are missing some livestock."

"So?" Aaron asked

"She wants me to help, but I can just tell her no."

Aaron rolled his eyes. "Doesn't she have anyone else to help?"

Adam shook his head as he typed "No, Ross has done a runner, left us right in it."

"Well just tell her you can't help right now." Aaron hissed.

"That is literally what I am typing, I just said didn't I?"

"You should go." Robert cut across them.

"What?" Aaron and Adam asked in unison.

Robert looked a little surprised himself, before returning to the easy position he held since they first met him in the pub. "Yeah listen, I grew up on a farm, I know how important it is for the business to loose as fewer animals as possible. If Ross has left her in the lurch she will need your help."

Adam just stared at him so he continued.

"You said you had been talking to your mum about how much you wanted this, there is no way she would text you now unless it was urgent."

"Are you sure?" Adam finally asked.

"-WHAT?" Aaron cut across, staring at Adam, trying to silently convey there was no way he was leaving Aaron here now.

"What? Robert is right, she really needs me if she is messaging me now."

"She can't wait an hour?"

Adam looked guilty, but before he could respond Robert piped up.

"Look Adam, you should go and help your mum, Vic told me how much work you have put into this" he said pointing at the folder Adam had brought in with him. "I'm sure Aaron would have no problem reading what you have been working on."

"I suppose..."

"NO!", Aaron said firmly, both sets of eyes fixed on him.

There was a small pause before Adam turned back to look at Robert. 

"Do you mind if I have a quick discussion with my partner?"

Robert smirked.

"Go right ahead."

Aaron found himself being pulled by his arm through the living room area and just into the entrance to the staircase.

"Look" Adam started, a serious expression on his face "I didn't want to go into detail in front of Robert, but we are really up against it at the farm, Mum was really worried already with Ross leaving and this set back is going to freak her out."

"Adam, I can't do this by myself." Aaron pleased

"Yes you can!" Adam stated equally forcefully,turning to look at Robert who smiled at them expectantly from the kitchen table before continuing at a whisper. "Look, I have been harping on about this for months and not once has Robert offered to help, you have one conversation with him and he's practically drying the ink on a big cheque. I am telling you, if anyone can seal this for us its going to be you."

"But why?"

"I don't know, maybe its your charming demeanor," he said sarcastically "what does it matter? We have been working on this all week, everything you need is in the file, just tell him what we went through."

"No Adam, what you went through, yeah we practiced this but you were the one doing the talking"

"You will be fine" Adam stated, ignoring Aaron's concerns

Aaron huffed, sensing defeat, "I can't believe...you owe me so ba - "

Before he could finish Adam grabbed his shoulders, shaking him slightly "Thank you, I agree, I owe you." Before running out the door shouting back "You got this."

With Adam gone the room was deftly quiet, Aaron turned slowly on the spot to face Robert who was sitting exactly where they had left him at the table however his head was turned looking directly at Aaron. At first glace his smile appeared polite, expectant even. However the more Aaron stared at he felt this hid a self satisfied grin, it was the type of smile someone gave when they were playing cards and had just been dealt a great hand but didn't want their opponent to know. Aaron found himself once again unnerved and he loosened his tie subconsciously as he walked back in to the room.

"So" Robert began, then paused "just the two of us then?"

Aaron smiled weakly, letting go of his tie, "Yeah, listen about the other day when I...you know" tilting his head towards the door.

Robert simply shook his head. "Sit down Aaron, we are here to talk business. You can make it up to me for storming out another time."

Aaron wasn't sure he was going to say he wanted to make it up to Robert, he didn't actually know how he planned to end the sentence, but with Robert was gesturing at Aaron's chair indicating he should sit down again, it seemed the matter was resolved and so he found himself walking towards the vacant seat.

"So...you still want to do this now?" Aaron asked, hoping Robert would sense in his tone he didn't and would give him an option to leave.

"Of course I want to do this now, I am a very busy man" 

Aaron raised an eyebrow at that, which caused Robert to pause.

"O.K well maybe not as busy at the moment as I once was, but in the interests in doing this properly lets just say that I am very busy, you are starting 10 minutes late and you need to convince me to invest in your new business."

Aaron stared at him vacantly, but he just stared back.

After about 5 seconds Robert prompted "Go on... Convince me."

"Erm..." How the hell was he going to do this Aaron wondered.

"Please invest in our scrap business", he could hear how reluctant he sounded even as he said it.

Robert paused waiting for him to continue, but when he said nothing else he barked out a laugh.

"Wow, when Vic said you guys had been working on this every night I didn't expect such a complicated proposal."

"Yeah, very funny." Aaron scoffed.

"Come on, tell me why I should give you the money."

"Because you will get it back" Aaron shot back, crossing his arms.

"Well that's a start suppose, but how do you plan to get it back and what else are you offering beyond just returning my original investment?"

Aaron rolled his eyes instinctively, knew he was acting unprofessionally, so far none of this was going how they had rehearsed, but Robert had this way of making him feel so exposed, talking at length made him feel exposed and asking for money definitely made him feel exposed. And when Aaron felt exposed his natural reaction was to close up.

"Why are you doing this?" He shot at a surprised Robert.

"Doing what?"

"Making me jump through these hoops, you either want to invest or you don't."

"Obviously I want to invest or I wouldn't be here, but I have to know what the business is" Robert said more defensively than Aaron expected.

"You know what the business is, I told you, Adam won't shut up about it and I guess Vic has probably mentioned a thing or two as well."

"Yeah, alright, I do know quite a bit about it, but you can't expect someone to invest in you if you can't explain why they should." Robert argued.

"You already know why you should, you were the one who said that's the reason we are here. I want to know why it has to be like this?" He said gesturing between them.

A flash of guilt ran across Roberts face, it was only for a moment but it told Aaron everything he needed to, he was right, this was just a game for Robert's amusement he just wanted to make Aaron and Adam dance to his tune before he gave them the money...or didn't. Seeing it for the first time with that conformed he looked around felt angry, this feeling only grew looking at the table and Robert's little pad, the suit Aaron himself had worried how he looked in, the folder that he and Adam had spent the last few nights working on...pointlessly.

"You are just like them." Aaron said under his breath.

"What?" 

"I said you are just like them?" Aaron repeated, clearly pronouncing each word, rising to the challenge in Roberts question.

"Who, who am I just like?" Robert said, anger creeping into his voice as well.

Aaron shook his head.

"Other rich people, acting like we will do whatever they want as long as they dangle a bit of cash in front of us, you lot are all the same!" He scoffed.

"That's not what this -" Robert began but Aaron cut him off, anger surging him onward.

"The worst part is you are not even one of them though, are you?"

"What are you talking about Aaron?" Robert huffed out in a poor attempt at a non-challant tone.

Aaron was fairly sure it wasn't a good idea to continue but angry enough not to care.

"Katie told me, you know? Told me how Chrissie left you with nothing!"

Robert looked as angry and Aaron felt. "Unbelievable... you want to criticise me for trying to help you and your mate out here, meanwhile you are off talking about me behind my back to Katie of all people" He lowered his head, seemingly disappointed "You know, I really thought you were different from that Aaron."

This stopped Aaron who was preparing himself to fire something back about Robert playing him and Adam for idiots. But, for whatever reason Roberts words stung, and he found he was defending himself instead.

"Its not like I went looking for her, she followed me out the pub the other day, and just started going on about what a bad guy you are!"

Aaron was expecting Robert to push forward with another attack, but found he had a small smile on his mouth instead.

"Well, to be fair, that does sound like something Katie would do"

Aaron halted.

"Why did you believe her?" Robert asked, seeming vulnerable for the first time since Aaron had met him.

"I didn't believe her."

"So you are telling me Katie tells you I am a bad guy who has no money, and here you are telling me I am bad guy who has no money, but you didn't believe her?"

"No, argh" Aaron wondered how Robert always managed to make him feel on the back foot "I told Katie she should back off, I'm not going to believe that stuff just because someone tells me I should."

"Then why-"

"I had a go at you because I hate this, standing here asking for money, with folder and the suit and the table." He couldn't help notice Robert smirk at that.

"It's got nothing to do with Katie. But I guess" Aaron huffed "I guess she did make some good points about the money that made me think you might just be playing us, I'm not saying I believed her, just that it made me think."

Robert sat back crossing his arms "oh this should be good, go on what did she say?"

Aaron looked at Roberts eyes, then down at his hands, he really didn't want to talk about this but he had backed himself into a corner by admitting it in the first place. 

"Well, she pointed out there is no way you would be living behind Diane's pub, with my mum, if you had been left with any money. And the people you are looking to do business with aren't exactly millionaires. I mean, she has a point, look at me and Adam for starters."

Aaron felt really awkward under Roberts gaze, saying these reasons out loud now they didn't seem as concrete as they had when he had been thinking about them.

He had expected Robert to be angry but when he looked at him Robert's expression was more like someone who found something kind of funny.

"OK, whatever Katie said, it clearly has made you question if you can trust me."

Aaron wanted to argue with that, but realising he wasn't in much of a position he let Robert continue.

"So I will explain myself, if only to put your mind at ease and not because I care what Katie thinks of me, is that clear?"

Aaron nodded.

Robert exhaled heavily "I was really scared of loosing Chrissie... and my job, the house and I guess, all the things that went with it too. For a long time I did whatever I could not to let that happen - crazy, stupid things. And yeah when it finally did catch up with me I did feel like I hit rock bottom, that everything I was scared of was coming true, like I had finally lost everything that mattered to me."

"What happened then?" Aaron let the question pass his lips by accident.

"Nothing!" Robert smiled "Everything fell apart and then ... nothing, yeah I didn't have any of the things I thought I needed anymore, but once I didn't have them and I stopped falling I realised I didn't really need them. Going through that, you realise what's actually important and for me that was my family. When everything fell apart it was Diane and Vic that were here for me, even Andy to some extend. So here I am, where I feel I need to be because I need to be near them. Katie is right, a lot of people hate me because of what I did before it happened, but I want to fix that, not because I care what they think, but it matters to Vic and Diane that I make an effort here, and if I'm going to change peoples opinion about me where else would I be?"  
Aaron looked past lip of the table down at the floor, wishing it would swallow him up. He didn't like loosing arguments, something he had accepted he would do as soon as Robert had opened up to him, but his discomfort went deeper than that. He had always prided himself on not listening to gossip, mainly because the amount that had been about around him in the past, but he had listened to his Mum and Adam and even Katie to an extent and judged Robert when he didn't really know him. Sure the guy came across as cocky and arrogant, but Aaron himself hated when people judged him on his first impressions which was why he hated being faced with the fact he had done that to Robert.

He was about to apologies but Robert beat him to it.

"I will admit you were right about one thing though."

This caused Aaron to look up from the table.

"I didn't really bring you here to learn more about the business plan, like you said I already know most of it"

"Then why make me go through this?" The question which had started the whole argument.

"This meeting may not have been the most effective way to find out about the business, but it was the best way to find out about you!"

"Me" Aaron said in surprise.

"Yeah, you" Robert replied quite seriously, before clocking Aaron's expression and laughing.

"It's not as weird as it sounds. The scrap business should make a profit, I knew that days ago, but there is one key thing which will determine whether it reaches its earning potential and that is Adam and you. I already know Adam, it's no secret he is not exactly my favorite person but I know he is totally committed to this and I know he will do what it takes to make it succeed. Why do you think I let him go earlier?"  
Aaron was in shock.  
"But I don't know anything about you and that makes you a risk. Vic and Adam tell me your a good guy, but you haven't exactly shown a burning passion to own your own business so far and you have left your whole life behind twice, which doesn't scream reliable."

Aaron was preparing to object but Robert continued.

"Katie IS wrong about me, but if I'm being honest Chrissie did leave me with less than what I would have liked, and that means I can't just throw my money around, I have to know the people I trust it with are serious. I guess you were right that I was making you jump through hoops and I am sorry for that Aaron, truly, I thought putting you in a situation you were uncomfortable with, like this, would make it clear to me whether you really wanted this."

Aaron could feel his face going red but it wasn't out of anger, granted he didn't like being deceived, but he couldn't exactly fault Robert's motivation when it was laid out in front of him. He had been so busy trying to avoid the hoops, now he looked back at the meeting knowing what they were he regretted making such a hash of things.

"I guess accusing you of being broke and a liar didn't exactly convince you I was serious about the business?"

"I wouldn't say that" Robert smiled "I was worried you weren't serious enough, but after this I am pretty sure what you need is to lighten up."

Aaron choked out a laugh and Robert smiled genuinely.

"I'm sorry" Aaron offered "I know it doesn't change things but really don't have good experiences with begging for hand outs."

Robert face turned serious "It's not a hand out, I can't afford handouts right now, its an investment which I believe will get me a decent return"  
Aaron nodded  
"how would you feel about explaining how we are going to do that?" Robert questioned.

The calm Aaron had started to feel vanished again at the idea of being back to presenting the business to Robert, sensing his unease Robert pulled his chair round to sit next to Aaron.  
"OK, OK how about this, how about we read through the folder together and I ask you questions about the details I want explaining?"

"OK" Aaron smiled.

 

Aaron had thought the work he and Adam had done in preparation with the meeting with Robert had covered everything, but going through the folder together Robert was constantly pausing and asking questions. Part of Aaron wanted to find it annoying as it seemed like Robert was just trying to make him talk more, but in truth he couldn't deny that he liked the interest Robert showed and how keen he seemed in what he had to say, smiling warmly and nodding along as Aaron spoke. Strangely it was the most he had been forced to talk in a long time, yet it was the most comfortable he had ever felt with Robert.

"And how would you expect to break down the items you and Adam couldn't dismantle yourselves?"

"Erm... we hadn't actually covered that." Aaron confessed.

"I know, but I am asking what you think, right now."

"Erm, oh right, well I know some people from when I lived London who worked in scrap, we could probably outsource whatever is too large for us for now, maybe in the long term we could look at expanding, maybe getting a car crusher, if things went well/"

Robert grinned widely.

"What?" Aaron laughed, unable to stop a small smile from creeping on to his lips as well.

"Nothing, it's just I am honoured you chose to tell me where you were living while you were away."

"What? Its not like its a secret."

"That's not what your mum thinks." Robert laughed.

"Oh really, how do you know?"

"I overheard her talking to Paddy the other day, complaining she still didn't know where you had been."

"Oh" Aaron hadn't realised he still hadn't told her, he knew he wanted to keep a lot of his time away to himself, but it hadn't occurred to him he hadn't even shared the basics. "Well... you should tell her!"

"Me?" Robert asked in surprise.

"Yeah, its perfect, if you were serious about trying to get people to like you I recon telling her something like that would definitely improve her opinion of you."

"That...is surprisingly manipulative of you, maybe there is hope for you yet."

Robert laughed and Aaron gave a weak smile back, not entirely sure how to take what Robert clearly considered a compliment.

"So what do you think...of the plan" Aaron asked pointing back to the folder.

"I think you are much better at this stuff than you give yourself credit for."

"Oh, thanks, but I meant the business."

"I know what you meant but I told you, you are the business, this is about you. You didn't think you could do this alone and I want you to know you were really great today."

Aaron could tell Robert was being genuine and it did have the desired effect, he felt a warmth from Roberts words he hadn't felt in a long time, but he really hated taking compliments.

"Ok...thanks?"

"I'm serious, I think you would be surprised at what you are capable of if you just let go of what you are scared of and trust your instincts."

"You always do that." Aaron laughed trying to turn the attention away from himself.

"What?" Robert asked, genuine intrigue on his face.

"Say this motivational stuff that sounds straight out of some book."

Robert laughed, but after a moment Aaron's face fell, he was unsure why he said the next thing, but in that moment it seemed important.

"You always look at me like that too!"

"Like what?" Robert asked, his smile falling as well, getting serious.

"I dunno, like you just kinda stare at me sometimes, its kinda deep I guess."

"You stare at me too you know?" Robert said softly.

That wasn't what Aaron was expecting

"Shut up, no I don't" he tried to laugh it off, but Robert remained serious.

"Seriously you do, I catch you doing it when you don't think I notice, or when you stop thinking about it, staring right back at me."

"I don't do that." Aaron replied more seriously this time.

"It's OK Aaron." Robert said putting his hand on Aaron's knee. "It doesn't mean anything you don't want it to, all you have to do is stop thinking about it."

Roberts eyes had locked on to Aaron's and once he had finished speaking he seemed to assess Aaron's face looking for a reaction before he started to lean in closer, keeping eye contact.

"What are you doing?" Aaron's voice was thick with fear and he could feel his head pull back a few millimeters, but not by much. 

"Letting go" Robert replied, barely more than a whisper and Aaron could feel the air from his words on his own lips he was so close "you should try it" he exclaimed before closing his eyes and closing the gap between them.

Aaron was frozen in place, Robert had told him to let go, but that wasn't possible for him, he couldn't let go. Instead every thought and fear rushed through his mind in an instant, the past, the present, Robert, Adam, Paddy... it was too much. His mind was totally overloaded and he couldn't separate what he wanted from what he was scared of. It wasn't him letting, it was him crashing and the only thing the two had in common was they both made his mind stop. In that moment he stopped thinking, stopped choosing and stopped pulling away.

Aaron felt Robert's lips lightly brush his own, teasing, testing for a reaction, they ran across his softly, Roberts breath quietly mixing with his own. In and out. Robert could deepen the kiss at any moment, pull Aaron in and it seemed he knew it. Aaron could feel a smirk on Roberts lips as he enjoyed the potential in that moment.

There was a knock on the door which caused Aaron to open his eyes wide, having not even noticed they had been closed. He looked at Robert who slowly pulled his head a couple of inches back, the smile remaining on his lips which he licked lightly as if tasting his own satisfaction.

"Come in" Robert shouted, not taking his eyes off Aaron.

"Oh...erm...sorry, is this a bad time?"

Paddy's voice restarted Aaron's brain, which had remained in shut down since he realised Robert was leaning in to kiss him. He jumped back from Robert and his chair screeched, only widening the smile on Roberts face.

"Actually we were just in the middle of-" Robert began.

"No" Aaron cut him off, turning to face Paddy who had a confused but concerned expression.

"No it's not a bad time, what's up?"

"Oh, er, well I haven't seen much of you for the past few days...but your mum said you were back here and I thought I would see if you were free for that chat?"

Aaron looked wildly between the two men, Robert still wearing that self satisfied smile which was currently making Aaron want to punch him and Paddy wearing a concerned but hopeful expression which was currently making Aaron want to punch him. He had two options, the frying pan or the fire. Frying pan. Fire.

Fire.

"Yeah, we do need to catch up I guess. Robert I think we were done here right?"

Roberts smile faded just a touch but it was barely noticeable.

"Yes, I think we both got out of this what we wanted, haven't we Aaron?"

Aaron just nodded his head dumbly, unaware how to respond so such an obvious comment.

"Great" Robert said, closing the file which was in front of him "we will make arrangements to meet again with Adam and we can talk though how this is going to work. Well done for today, you really impressed me."

Aaron wasn't sure how to take that last statement, was it another jibe about whatever had happened at the end or was he being genuine. They stared at each other for a moment before Roberts eyes moved to Paddy and he smiled strongly again. "You want him now?"

"Erm" Paddy looked confused "yes...yes if that's OK with you?"

"Alright, I am here" Aaron interjected.

"Right, yes...sorry" Paddy offered, bowing his head a little.

"Whatever, lets go." Aaron said walking towards the door.

Paddy had left the room and Aaron was nearing the exit when Robert called to him "we will continue later yes?"

Aaron stared at him for a moment, not knowing what to say, barely knowing what had even happened, he left without any answer and caught Robert still wearing that ridiculous grin as he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took so long to get up, this chapter totally kicked my ass. I really do love reading comments as i love hearing what you guys think. Thanks to everyone who has left kudos and comments previously :-)
> 
> Turns out i really struggle to write a short chapter :-s


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> In the story's present day (2015) Paddy finally gets some 1 on 1 time with Aaron, and in the past (2012) Aaron gets some shocking news from home.

31st July 2015  
Aaron followed Paddy out past the bar into main area of the pub, he was stuck in his own head and barely listening but Paddy either thought this normal or just didn't notice.

"I am so happy you agreed to talk, I was starting to think you were just going to avoid me forever!"

What the hell happened back there? Everything was going fine and then out of nowhere Robert had tried to kiss him.

"Obviously you couldn't avoid me FOREVER, now that you are back it would be a bit difficult never to talk to each other wouldn't it?"

Why did Robert think he would be OK with that? What were they talking about before that? Was there something he had said to make him think that's what he wanted?

"Not to say, the only reason you are talking to me now is because you feel you have to..."

And its not exactly like Aaron had pulled back, why didn't he pull back more? He was in shock, that was it. Its not exactly something you expect in the middle of a business meeting, and Robert didn't seem at all gay. They had been talking about his very recent ex wife for god sake.

"That isn't why you agreed to talk to me? Because you feel you have no other choice?"

Robert definitely seemed to think Aaron was into it, given how cocky he had been afterwards, couldn't he see it was just surprise and fear, nothing more.

"Because you do have a choice, you know. I don't want you to only talk to me because you think you have to."

Oh god, Aaron cursed, Robert is going to think he is gay! Or that that's something he would be in to.

"Aaron?"

What if he tells people that? What if he tells people Aaron is in to him?

"Aaron"

He seems the type of guy to boast about something like that.

"AARON!"

"WHAT?"

"Oh god, you scared the life out of me" Paddy replied, visibly jumping.

"What?" Aaron questioned, annoyed, looking around and realising he was in the pub with Paddy.

"Well you just stopped moving and your eyes kind of glazed over" He raised a hand to Aaron's face which Aaron swatted away.

"Is everything OK?"

"It's fine, I just have a lot on my mind." Aaron replied curtly.

"With Robert?" Paddy nodded.

Aaron started nodding before he registered what he had just heard "What? No. Why would you say that?"

"Just...well" Paddy stuttered, taken aback by Aaron's reaction to the comment "you just had that meeting with him didn't you? Trying to secure an investment, it's a lot to think about."

"Right...yeah." Aaron nodded

"So, do you want to sit down, I can get some drinks?" Paddy asked politely.

Aaron looked around, the pub had filled up quite a bit since he had entered earlier. His mum was staring at him from the bar, trying to catch his eye, no doubt to talk about their little fall out earlier. Paddy was standing more closely than Aaron was comfortable with and he was very aware Robert was still only in the back room, presumably he would come out through the pub at any time. Aaron could feel his tie tied too tight around his neck, cutting off the blood to his head and making dizzy. He went to loosen the tie, before realising he had already at the start of the meeting and it wasn't that which was constricting him at all. 

"Actually, I'm kind of beat after the meeting. Like you said its a lot to think about so I should go home."

"Right, right, yeah of course;" Paddy replied, his face fallen to an expression which resembled a kicked puppy.

Aaron smiled politely and tried to pass the larger man and make his way towards the door.

"Aaron-" Paddy stopped him.

"I know you don't want to talk to me. But I, I really think we should... talk, you know?"

Aaron wanted to tell him no so desperately. He had managed to get away from Robert now so there was no reason to agree if he could get out of it. But looking at the pleading, hopeful expression on Paddy's face Aaron couldn't resist nodding his head slightly.

"Oh, that's great....thats really great." Paddy gushed. "How about tomorrow?"

"Cain has asked me to work at the garage tomorrow, him and Debbie are doing some preparation for the wedding?"

"OK...well what time?"

Aaron paused considering a lie but decided on the truth: "I start at 12."

"That's perfect" Paddy beamed "we could meet before you start?"

"I don't know if I can." Aaron replied, feeling the noose tighten.

Paddy's face went serious once again "Please Aaron, I want to show you something."

"What?" 

"Its a surprise."

"I don't like surprises." Aaron scowled.

"You will like this one, I promise, meet me here at 11?"

Aaron wasn't sure how he had got himself in this situation, he had promised himself he wouldn't talk to Paddy as he knew where the conversation would eventually lead and it was somewhere he was unwilling to go. However a few sad looks and pleads from Paddy and he was nearly agreeing to meet him for a 'surprise', as if it couldn't get any worse. As he considered how best to decline without looking like he was declining (causing Paddy to pull that desperate expression again and roping him back in), he noticed Robert entering the pub from behind the bar out of the corner of his eye. Once again Aaron felt constricted by his clothes, now aware his tie wasn't tight around his neck, however his whole upper body pulsed as if the shirt had suddenly shrunk 3 sizes. Realising he had taken too long talking to Paddy in the pub and time had run out Aaron cut short their discussion by nodding in agreement and making for the exit. If Paddy had been confused by his sudden departure Aaron was gone to quickly to see it, however he did hear him call gleefully "see you tomorrow then" before Aaron was able to reach the doors to exit the pub.

 

25th March 2012  
Aaron felt his phone buzzing in his back pocket more than he heard it. Over the thrum of the engine he was currently working on it would have been impossible to hear, and under most circumstances he probably wouldn't have even noticed the buzzing, but he was hyper aware of his phone and had been for a couple of days. Aaron quickly picked up a rag and cleaned his hand before pushing it into the pocket of his overalls. Glaring at the screen his heart sunk when he saw it was a withheld number and therefore not the call he was hoping for. Reaching to put the phone back down, a thought crossed his mind and he hesitated before clicking "accept" on the call.

"Hello?" he said curtly, expecting the most likely outcome to be salesperson bright voice to respond.

"Aaron!" Adam's familiar voice called instead causing a wave of relief to wash over him.

"Oh thank god!" Aaron breathed out "Where the hell have you been? I have been trying to call you for two days!"

There was silence on the other end of the line.

"I was gonna have to come to Emmerdale and find you myself if you didn't pick up soon" he joked, knowing they both knew there was no way he would do that.

"Listen" Adam replied solemnly, ignoring his comments "I've screwed up mate."

"What's up?" Aaron asked, the anxiety which had chased him since Adam had stopped responding days earlier returning in force.

"Its really bad."

"Adam, what have you done?" Aaron asked desperately.

"I'm...i'm in prison" Adam offered weakly.

"Your what?"

"They arrested me."

Aaron dropped the wrench he had been holding, completely unaware when it smashed down against his shoe.

"Why?"

The answer was a long time coming "Arson and" Adam paused again "Attempted murder."

Aaron was stunned into silence, his mind unable to process what he was hearing. 

"I started the fire" Adam blurted out "I already told them that, but I swear to you Aaron, I swear I wasn't trying to kill him."

There was something in Adams voice as he said that which reawakened the functions in his brain.

"Who?" He asked, almost absently, but Adam didn't respond and there was silence across the line,

"Adam, who are they saying you tried to kill?" He asked more forcefully this time.

After another long wait with nothing but static, Adams voice finally broke through "It was Cain."

Aaron reflexively put his hand to his mouth and noticed his face was slick with sweat, in the time since he had answered the call Aaron had become drenched, and it wasn't just his face, his whole body had become wet and clammy making Aaron feel like he was drowning in his own clothes, his eyes began to sting as it fell from his head and he tried pointlessly to blink the sweat away.

"What happened" he asked as he reached for another rag to clear his brow.

"I was at the garage, I wasn't in a good way mate, thinking about my dad dying and the mess they made of everything at the end with Cain and my mum. I just kind of lost it, just for a minute and I torched it...Cain was there too, but I wasn't trying to kill him I swear Aaron, you have to believe me, I wouldn't.." the words died in his throat.

Through Aaron's own panic he could hear the fear in Adams voice and it made him realise he needed to at least appear the stronger one of the two right now.

"Listen, Adam, we are going to sort this, OK? It's going to be OK, I'll... I'll tell them that I started it."

Adam scoffed.

"No its brilliant" Aaron continued "they would never believe I tried to kill Cain"

"Are you not listening Aaron, I already told them it was me."

"We can just tell them you were covering for me." Aaron pleaded, unable to keep the desperation from his voice.

"Listen to yourself, your not thinking straight, nobody in their right mind would believe you would come back now just to torch the garage. Besides Cain has already given his statement."

"Then I will talk to Cain" Aaron said without thinking "convince him to change his statement."

"No...Aaron, stop."

"Listen, I've got to do something." Aaron pleaded openly "I can't let this... I can't let you..."

Adam laughed hollowly "You sound like the one facing a life sentence." 

"I can't do this without you." Aaron blurted out desperately.

"Pull it together man" Adam replied harshly "look we are in this together yeah? just like everything else? I've got your back man, even in here, but my whole family is falling apart right now, I literally can't worry about you to right now, I just can't.

"Your right...your right" Aaron responded, breathing deeply, trying to regain control.

"I know you Aaron, I know you feel like you need to do something, but right now my mum is already talking to Cain, to try and get him to change his statement about it being intentional. Just stay put, if my mum can't persuade him, we can talk about it OK, but you going in right now won't help."

"OK."

"Look man, I have got to go-"

"No, don't go!" Aaron couldn't help himself from saying.

"I don't have any time left... I will call you soon OK? Just relax, don't do anything stupid, OK?"

Aaron didn't respond.

"OK?"

"Alright" Aaron agreed "mate I..." but the phone had gone dead, leaving Aaron feeling hollow and alone.

 

 

1st August 2015

Aaron had had an uncomfortable night, stripping off the suit and taking two hot showers before Adam had come back from the farm, but it had not managed to reduce the constricted feeling he had felt ever since the end of the meeting with Robert. When Adam had returned he was ecstatic with how the things had gone, hearing off Vic who heard off Robert that the investment was on. He wanted every detail of what Robert had said, what he liked about the proposal, what Aaron had said, when they could get the ball rolling, only pausing to offer repeated apologies for leaving and occasionally questioning why Aaron was being so quiet. It was only when Adam started seriously asking if Aaron actually definitely wanted to do this because he was apparently acting more like his life was over, Aaron got out of his own head enough to reassure his friend that he was sure he wanted it and he was just anxious about meeting Paddy tomorrow before taking himself off to bed. It was partially true, Paddy was on his mind, but the meeting with Robert was what was consuming his thoughts.

Aaron hadn't gone into detail with Adam about the discussion over whether Robert had any money and their argument over Aaron not wanting to do the presentation, sticking to the questions Robert had asked about the folder and the answers he had given. He spent the rest of the night worrying if Robert was going to say anything about what happened at the end. Would he be embarrassed that he had tried to kiss Aaron? And if he was would he try and spin it into something it wasn't where Aaron was up for it too? It didn't seem that likely but worried Robert would try and twist what happened Aaron considered trying to get in there first with the truth, telling Adam that Robert had tried to kiss him and he didn't want to work with him. Flashes of that night in the car over 5 years ago crossed Aaron's mind like lashes of a whip and he worried about how easily Robert would be able to turn the situation against him if he did expose him. Robert was definitely someone who found it easy to manipulate a situation and although it was ancient history the attempted kiss with Adam could easily be used against Aaron if it did come down to an argument over who came on to whom. Aaron briefly wondered if Robert already knew about that and that was why he felt it was OK to come on to Aaron, strangely the thought relaxed him slightly as it suggested there hadn't been anything he had done in the present to give Robert that impression, just some stupid mistake from a different life. 

Of all the things Aaron worried about that night he did not spend too much time worrying about why he had allowed it to go as far as it did. Initially it had concerned him, however he quickly decided that clearly he was shocked into stillness, something which he could recount happening many other times in his life, his three most common reactions being punch, run or freeze. He spent a lot of time kicking himself for choosing freeze on this occasion and worrying how he could make clear to Robert it was a mistake without having to talk about it, but he recognised there was no point agonising over why he had frozen when the answer was so obvious.

Due to his difficult night Aaron was understandably grumpy when it met an extremely cheery Paddy in the Woolpack carpark. Aaron feeling marginally more comfortable in his garage overalls than in the suit the day before.

"You came!" Paddy greeted him gleefully.

"Didn't have much choice did I?" Aaron scowled in response.

Paddy's smile faltered slightly,

"Of course you had a choice."

"Great, I will just go back to bed then." Aaron quipped.

"Well you are here now 'ey."

Aaron nodded.

"Brilliant, get in...your Chariot awaits." Paddy pronounced pointing to his car.

"You what?"

"Chariot...its like a carriage which people used to use for -"

"I know what a Chariot is Paddy." Aaron interrupted "Why are we getting in your car?"

"Well for your surprise."

Aaron huffed.

"We have to go to it. Can't you just bring it to me?"

"I did conceder it actually, but this was an easier agreement for everyone in the end."

"Who is everyone?" Aaron asked cautiously.

Paddy tapped his nose, like someone did to a child when they had a secret causing Aaron to groan. Resigning to his fate he got in to the car. 

"How far is it? You know I have to be back in an hour." 

"It is not far." Paddy confirmed. "So how did the meeting with Robert go yesterday?"

"I don't want to talk about it." Aaron said flatly.

"OK, well then what did you get up to while you were away?" Paddy tried.

"I don't want to talk about that either."

"OK..." Paddy paused "what's your favorite colour then?"

Aaron turned his head slowly, giving Paddy a glare as if he were insane.

"Well, I'm getting the distinct impression our source of topics is going to be limited if I can't talk about what you are doing or what you have been doing."

"Well maybe we just shouldn't talk at all!" Aaron shot back.

"Fine" Paddy said stubbornly.

"Fine" Aaron replied.

Seemingly unable to reply with another 'fine' Paddy punched the on button on the radio with his thumb (after missing twice) to make his point.

Aaron crossed his arms and looked out the window thinking how stupid this was.

"Blue" he huffed.

Paddy looked over to him and smiled.

The rest of the short journey was taken up with Paddy telling Aaron all the details of his life with the occasional bout of silence. Although Aaron tried to keep his guard up, listening to Paddy gush about his wife Rhona and son Leo he couldn't help but warm to him, as seeing Paddy's immature excitement reminded him of old times. The Paddy he had allowed himself to remember since he left was the one who was always sticking his nose in Aaron's business, always trying to find out what he was doing and worrying about why. Aaron remembered that Paddy's heart was in the right place but it was those qualities were the ones which made him angry and frustrated. Sitting with the man now he realised he cut out a lot of memories of the good times when they just had a laugh about stupid stuff and it dawned on him that was a lot of what their friendship was. When Aaron had thought about Paddy he had always felt angry at how the man had pushed him or guilty for how it ended, but he never really missed him because he didn't allow himself to remember the things he would miss. Being faced with them now he felt sad about the death of their friendship all those years ago for the first time, but the pain was softened by the thought that Paddy had seemed to have really got his life together, that without Aaron he had managed to find everything he wanted. Aaron allowed himself to imagine what life would have been like if he hadn't left, the two of them still in Paddy's flat together, alone. At first he saw them sitting and laughing but then his mind added the detail of a black eye and a bloodied nose on Paddy and an expression on his face the same as the night Aaron had left, full of fear. Aaron cringed and shook the image from his head. His expression hardened, resolute more than usual that leaving had been the right decision, that whatever had happened to him in that time it had allowed Paddy to get the life he deserved.

"You alright" Paddy questioned, a concerned look on his face. 

Aaron looked around to realise the car had stopped.

"Fine" he mumbled.

"You just look a bit...i don't know, serious I guess?"

"I said I'm fine" Aaron snapped, "Where are we anyway?"

Paddy brightened at that.

"Ahh, well, your surprise is here!"

Aaron looked around. "Its a farm?"

"Right, yes, well it's not the farm its what's on the farm."

A memory sifted to the top of Aaron's thoughts.

"Oh god Paddy, its not a cow giving birth is it? I told you last time I never want to see that again."

Paddy started giggling "No you muppet."

"Good"

"Besides I only brought you to that when you had that stupid idea about becoming a vets assistant" Paddy added.

"oh yeah, well I guess it worked didn't it" Aaron said, smiling at the memory of Paddy's obvious displeasure at Aaron trying to become his assistant, but Aaron pretending not to notice just to wind him up more. Of course it had kind of back fired when Paddy had brought him to the cow-birthing experience.

Paddy smiled fondly too before something caught his eye in the distance.

"No, your surprise is right over there" he pointed out the windshield, squinting. 

Aaron followed his finger and he could see movement but his brain couldn't match the blurry image to anything he knew. Suddenly realisation hit him and he whipped back to Paddy.

"NO WAY!"

Paddy nodded excitedly with a huge grin spread across his face. Aaron turned from him and and rushed for the door handle, fingers unable to find it in the heat of the moment. 

By the time he had managed to get out the car thanks to the speed his "surprise" was traveling it had already reached him. Aaron, unaware of the danger, straightened up and turned, only to be wrestled to the ground instantly by a huge weight. Although Aaron's vision turned blurry from his head hitting the ground, smacking against the gravel of the farms drive and he was struggling for air from where the huge mass had knocked the wind out of his lungs Aaron was unable to concentrate on any of those things. The pure joy that was coursing through his body pushed out the pain he felt, because standing on top of him, pinning him to the ground was a figure he never thought he would see again. 

Off in the distance he heard a strangers voice call "come on lad, gerroff him. Oi.. Clyde, I said get off the lad." But Clyde didn't listen, too busy joyfully wrestling with his long lost friend. 

 

19th April 2012

Aaron walked into the visitors hall, eyes casting to each of the little tables, searching. In the end it was his ears which found what he was looking for first, as Adam stood up scraping his chair loudly and Aaron turned reflexively to the loud noise. He caught sight of Adam who side stepped away from the small visitors table, Aaron walked briskly towards the other man and they grabbed each other in a crushing embrace. Aaron's felt tears well in his eyes and he allowed himself breath properly for the first time in nearly a month. In that embrace he could feel his strength returning, something which had eluded him recently, however Adam pulled away within seconds. As they parted Aaron looked at him questioningly, however Adams eyes we staring at something behind Aaron, looking around to the source Aaron caught sight of a guard looking at them disapprovingly, he had clearly been heading towards them before Adam cut their embrace short. The sight of the guard's look caused Aaron's brain to kick back in and realise where he was, in a prison visiting hall, surrounded by guards, inmates and strangers. He took a reflexive step back from Adam, the thought of what their embrace would look like to others invading his mind. Adam gave him an understanding nod and they both took their seats.

"You look like hell!" Adam stated.

"Thanks" Aaron scoffed "but I'm pretty sure that's my line."

"Yeah, I guess it should be but seriously mate, you look awful!" Adam said, concern clear on his face.

"well it's been a tough month." Aaron replied dismissively.

"Yeah, tell me about it, but why has it been so tough for you?"

Aaron considered responding but instead shook his head "It's fine, how's it going with the case?"

Adam let out a long breath "Could be better, but it could be worse I guess. Mum finally convinced Cain to give an updated statement saying he didn't think I was trying to kill him, so that's something."

"Will they believe him?"

"Don't know, they don't have a lot of proof it was attempted murder if the victim says it wasn't, but the fact he originally said it was still counts for something." Adam ran his hands through his hair, his eyes wide. "I should know in the next few days if they are going to reduce the charge, if they do I might be able to get bail."

Aaron relaxed a little at the news "That's good then, it could be alright."

Adam looked at him seriously "Aaron, if even they do reduce the charge it's still Arson with intent to endanger life!"

"Well what does that mean?"

"It means if I am found guilty I could be sentenced to up to 14 years in jail."

Aaron felt his throat constrict and he tried to draw breath.

"What's going on with you?" Adam asked, concern clear on his face.

"Nothing" Aaron said weakly as he struggling for breath.

"No, seriously, I'm facing the best years of my life in here and I feel better than you look. Tell me what's going on, has something happened to you I don't know about?"

Aaron shook his head "I don't know..."

"Don't know what?"

"I don't know what's wrong with me."

"What do you mean?" Adam looked genuine confused.

Aaron leaned in closer, looking around to ensure nobody else was listening. 

"I think like I'm losing it Adam. Yeah I'm worried about you, about what's going to happen to you. But even when I'm not thinking about it I just feel ... like someone else, you know?"

Adam looked deep into Aaron's eyes before admitting "I don't know what you mean."

"I don't know either." he replied, frustrated

"Well who do you feel like?"

"I don't know!"

Adam huffed "You are not giving me a lot to go on here mate."

"I'm trying." Aaron said, looking deeply back at Adam, trying to let him know he wasn't hiding anything, he really didn't know "I just feel different, like I'm someone who isn't in control."

"is it because you are worried about me?"

"Maybe, it started then and when I think of you going down it gets worse."

Adam looked deep in thought "I appreciate you are worried about me, but I don't get why it would make you feel like this."

Aaron slammed his fists on the table, causing Adam to look reflexively at the guard "I don't know either" he hissed through gritted teeth, trying to keep his temper under control "I just know I have lost everyone else and I can't lose you too".

"Your not going to lose me, I'm always going to be there, even if I'm in here."

Aaron let out a sound which was half laugh and half scoff.

"Look" Adam said "just a few more weeks and I will get bail, then I can come and see you and we can sort this stuff out, OK, get your head straighten out together."

Aaron nodded, trying to hold back, telling himself this hall was not the place to fall apart even though he felt it like it was ready to spill over any second.

"'til then just concentrate on work, keep your head down yeah?"

Aaron looked away instinctively, hoping Adam wouldn't see the truth in his eyes, but Adam knew the movement too well.

"What?" he asked.

Aaron shook his head.

"Aaron what have you done?"

"Why'd you always think its me" Aaron shot back and Adam responded with a knowing look.

"Alright, so I might have lost my job,"

"WHAT!?!" Adam exclaimed so loudly that a number of nearby inmates and their guests turned to look at him, causing him to put his hands up to the room defensively.

"What?" he repeated, practically a whisper, once the guards had turned away

"It wasn't my fault, some jerk in a R8 thought just because he had a fancy car an an expensive suit it meant he could get whatever he wanted."

Adam rolled his eyes "And let me guess, you thought it was your job to let him know he couldn't."

Aaron felt annoyed at being seen as so predictable. "Well like I said, I haven't been myself lately."

"Are you sure about that, because this sounds like classic Aaron to me." Adam spat harshly, before easing up. "So what happened?"

"Well Dave came over and fired me on the spot, kinda proved the guy could get what he wanted I guess, asshole."

Adams expression fell very serious "Aaron, how long do you have left before you can't pay for your room?"

"End of the month." he replied weakly.

"Oh mate, you need to listen to me, go back to Dave and beg for your job back."

Aaron pulled away horrified at the idea. "No way, I'm not begging him for anything."

"For god sake Aaron, isn't it enough that I have to look after myself in here, I've got to look after you out there too? You need to get your job back...if you stop being able to pay for that room, you will have nowhere to live."

Aaron shook his head defiantly.

"Unless you want to go back to Emmerdale?" Adam finished, clearly desperate to get Aaron to see his perspective, and it worked because at that Aaron stopped shaking and couldn't help but picture him turning back up after all this time. Realising the words had cut through his friends resolve Adam continued: "Try mate, for me?"

"Yeah alright, but I don't think it's gonna work."

"Thankyou" Adam said, ignoring the last bit and looking at the clock "times nearly up mate ... I'm gonna get bail and come and see you, OK? You better have a place for me to crash when I do."

Aaron nodded solemnly as he was his with the realisation the time with Adam, the only thing which had got him through the last week was nearly at an end and he had barely realised it passing. Seemingly aware of Aaron's drop in mood Adam grabbed his hand across the table causing Aaron to look up.

"Hey, we got this OK? Everything is going to be fine" Adam smiled, but it did not reach his eyes. 

In that moment, holding on, Aaron could allow himself to believe what he said was true. The alarm rang signalling the end of their time, and before it had finished Adam had pulled away. 

On the other side of the alarm Aaron understood, as Adam had when he had said it, that this time everything was not going to be alright. Although they were both in that fact together he couldn't help but feel more alone than he ever had before.

 

1st August 2015

Aaron had felt the most free he had in years, dancing around the farmers field with Clyde, running together, playing catch and wrestling. His own unabridged joy was only matched by that of Clyde himself, who seemed more like a puppy than an old dog. His new owner laughed afterwards, when they were taking a well deserved break, that he had never seen Clyde so happy. They were sitting on a small wall at the edge of the field, Clyde taking a drink from a bowl his owner "Mark" had brought out, Aaron drinking from a water bottle Paddy had brought from the car. Paddy took the opportunity to tell Aaron what had happened to Clyde since he left. Apparently Paddy had looked after him full time once Aaron had gone and when Rhona had moved in although she hadn't been particularly keen on him she looked after him like her own pet, taking him for early morning walks and giving him more dog treats than Paddy agreed with. It was only when Leo came along that they decided he was too large a dog to live with such a small baby, and between their jobs and looking after a new born it wasn't feasible to keep him anymore. 

Mark had been a regular client of Paddy's for many years, although his farm was nearer to the vets in Hotton, he and Paddy had a strong working relationship and he trusted Paddy with his animals more than anybody else. Mark was quite old himself and Aaron got the impression he was someone who was set in his ways, he had recently had lost his previous German Shepherd and was looking for a new companion. Aaron had in the beginning often asked Adam about Clyde, although he was happy to hear about him it did make him feel more home sick than hearing about his Mum or Paddy as he had only good memories with Clyde, which he could not corrupt in order to make the distance more bearable, as a result he started asking less and less often. Once he asked after many months of not mentioning him and Adam had told him he wasn't around the village anymore but he wasn't sure why. Aaron never pressed the issue to scared the answer would be that he had died, and coped by trying to think about Clyde as little as possible, marking him down as another thing Aaron would have to suppress in order to keep surviving. Sitting now with his hand lazily stroking Clyde's head, one pressure released which he hadn't realised weighed on him, he wished he had had the guts to ask Adam to find out what happened. Doing so would have saved him a lot of subconscious pain over the years to know that Clyde was alive and happy. 

Paddy and Aaron walked back to the car, aware that he was already going to be late for his shift after he had spent too long with his old friend to get back on time. Before they left Mark had promised Aaron could come and see Clyde anytime, even take him for walks or just play around the field, he seemed happy to see his dog so excited and full of life. Clyde had started to whine as they walked away causing Aaron to fall to his knees and hug the large dog. "I am coming back buddy, I promise, from now on your gonna see me so much of your going to be sick of the sight." Although Clyde couldn't understand the words, he seemed to take enough from the exchange not to whine again when they walked away. Before Aaron had let go he kissed the dogs head and whispered so quietly nobody would be able to hear "I'm sorry."

Back in the car Aaron let out a long breath, looked over at Paddy and they both started laughing. A tear rolled down Paddy's cheek, which didn't look odd until he stopped laughing and it just looked like he had been crying. The sign caused emotions to rise in Aaron as well and he felt his face flush.

"Thankyou" he said earnestly "I really needed this."

"Anytime mate." Paddy replied and started the car.

The drive back had been a stark opposition to the drive there, full of laughter and shared stories, mainly about Clyde, but also times Aaron and Paddy had had together. As they neared the village and reached a natural lull in the conversation Paddy breathed a shaky breath.

"Listen, mate, before I drop you off there is something I need to say about when you left."

Aaron's stomach dropped and the easy expression fell from his face. He had allowed himself to be free from thought for a time but the mention of that event had pulled him back into his own body with a thud. The comedown was so quick and so painful he cringed physically.

"Please Paddy, please don't ruin it."

Paddy, for his part looked regretful "I need to say this."

A part of Aaron had known that the whole trip had been leading to this point, the conversation about Paddy's life, seeing Clyde again and the memories in the car ride back had all been planned to relax Aaron enough so he wouldn't run away when Paddy say his piece about what Aaron had done to him. He knew this but he had let it happen anyway, too high on the drug to worry about the hangover. Aaron looked at him with a silent plea in his eyes but he didn't stop him.

"I need to let you know how sorry I am, that, that I wasn't there for you when you needed me."

Aaron opened his eyes wide with surprise and Paddy looking away an expression filled with shame.

"I really let you down in a way I promised myself I never would...and I need you to know, Aaron, I need you to know I am so so sorry" His voice caught at the final words and he began to cry. Aaron felt tears behind his own eyes looking at the man.

"Paddy, what are you talking about, what I did...what I did to you... I'm grateful all you did was let me go."

Paddy's eyes shot up "I never let you go, I know what... what I did, what I said that night made it look like I did, but I swear I didn't. If I knew you were going to walk out and not come back I would have done anything, anything, I would have tied you to the bloody radiator, just to stop you from leaving." He laughed a little through his tears and Aaron responded with a laugh.

"I don't understand why you think you let me down, I lost it with you. You have every right to still hate me now after what I did."

Paddy was shaking his head "No, you were pushing me, seeing how far I would go until I broke. Back then I promised myself I would be the first person to show you it doesn't matter how far you push I wasn't going to let you down, I wasn't going to leave you. I never did leave you... for the record, but I did let you down. I let you think a few punches and I would walk away from you. In the end I was a coward and I want you to forgive me for that."

They had pulled up outside the Woolpack and Aaron was speechless, he had been avoiding Paddy because he knew it would mean reliving that night, more than the fear of being told off, but he was still stunned that wasn't what Paddy wanted. Although he was afraid he wouldn't be able to take seeing the night from Paddy's perspective, the reality that Paddy saw himself as the villain was in some ways more painful. It made him feel more guilty to see the man had tortured himself for something which Aaron couldn't see as anything but his own fault.

"What are you thinking?" Paddy asked quietly.

"Dunno" Aaron replied "I was expecting you to say you could never forgive me, I don't know how to deal with this though."

"What you did to me Aaron, I'm not going to say I wasn't scared at the time, and that it didn't hurt... physically I mean. But the pain was nothing compared to how it felt worrying about you and wishing you would come back. I know why you did what you did, but I wish you felt you could have come back, or at least let me know you were OK.

Aaron nodded "I'm sorry". It wasn't what he was expecting to be apologising for, but hearing the words come out he realised how desperate he had been to say them and hopefully to be forgiven.

"Come here" Paddy said, pulling him into a huge hug, Aaron breathed deeply, feeling another wall come down he hadn't realise he had built, tears escaping from his eyes.

They broke apart and Paddy wiped his own cheek "phew emotional day" he joked.

"I know right" Aaron laughed, wiping his face with a cuff of his overalls "Thanks for this though Paddy, all of it... I better go though, I'm already late."

"Before you do..." Paddy responded, causing Aaron to turn back as he had already started searching for the door handle "I just wanted to say I am really glad you are back, and I'm dead proud of you for getting through that stuff, even though I wasn't there to help."

Aaron nodded absently, turning back to find the door handle. Something in what Paddy had said, however, caused Aaron to whip his head back.

"What stuff?"

"Huh?" Paddy replied absentmindedly.

"You said you were proud of me for getting through 'that stuff', what stuff are you talking about?"

"Oh" Paddy exclaimed, seemingly a little taken aback "well...I...I just meant when you left you seemed to be struggling with who you were, and its nice to see you sorted it out I guess."

"Who I was?" Aaron asked, his eyes narrowing.

"It's not a big deal" Paddy laughed, a little nervously "sorry I said anything. Aren't you late for your shift?"

"No" Aaron said, turning his whole body to Paddy "I want to know exactly what you mean."

"It's nothing" Paddy protested, but Aaron didn't look away, so eventually he huffed out "Look, when you left one of my biggest regrets was that I left you when you were clearly very confused, I was worried about what would happen because I let you down when you were so unsure how you felt about...people. But when you came back so confident and seeing you with Robert yesterday... We don't have to talk about it if you don't want to, I was just happy to know it worked out." 

Aaron ran both his hands through his hair, heat rising through his body, he couldn't believe what he was hearing.

"Look" he spat "I don't know what you think you saw, but nothing happened OK."

"Oh...Oh...OK, um sorry" Paddy spluttered.

"Why would you even think that?" Aaron asked angrily.

"I...I don't know, just made a mistake I guess."

"Yeah you did, you made a mistake then and you are making it again now."

Paddy looked scared, but spoke anyway "Fair enough, I...i made a mistake yesterday, sorry, I just thought... well it doesn't matter. But back then-" he stopped for several seconds, seemingly wrestling with himself about whether he should continue "that wasn't a mistake...you said-"

"You are wrong" Aaron cut across bluntly.

"I'm not wrong" Paddy laughed out, more confident than before "I asked you if you were gay and you said you thought you were."

Aaron's eyes bulged at the word 'gay' and he looked around the car park to make sure nobody was around. Although he couldn't see anyone he lowered his voice for his response.

"Listen Paddy, you are wrong alright, I never said that."

"Aaron, I replayed that night thousands of times in my head, and the one bit, the one bit I will never forget is when you said that and you begged... begged me, me to help you and I turned my back on you" he ended soberly.

"Is that what this is about? Why you feel so guilty, because you thought I was gay and I wanted you to help me, what come out?" he laughed derisively "your an idiot you know that?"

Paddy winced.

"If that's what you feel bad about you should just forget it, I didn't hit you because I was gay alright, I smashed your face in because I was done with you sticking your nose in my business...done, I'd had enough of it so I left. And you know what? it was the best decision I ever made."

Paddy just looked away silently, and Aaron felt nothing, no remorse, no release, no relief so he continued.

"You know what I had when I was away? Do you?"

No answer.

"I had tons of girlfriends, one after the other, some even at the same time and you know what...no men, not one. So if you think the minute I come back here you can accuse me of getting off with some bloke in my mums kitchen" he laughed "your pathetic Paddy."

Paddy remained still, staring at the floor, Aaron stared at him, inches from his face until Paddy finally nodded his head and weakly said "OK, I'm sorry."

Aaron snorted before reaching for the door and finally escaping the car. He slammed the door shut behind him as hard as possible and stalked off towards the garage.

By the time he arrived he's was seriously late for his shift and Cain and Debbie had already left, clearly not willing to wait for him any longer. There was a car outside the garage, it was a white Audi R8, and leaning against the side was a woman with brunette bob and a pristine white suit with a pencil skirt. The whole look matched the car, both in colour, impact and looking completely out of place in the surroundings of 'Dingle and Dingle' garage. She smiled confidently as she saw him approach, pushing off the car and starting to walk towards him, her white high heels crunching on the gravel. Aaron groaned internally, whatever this woman wanted she had picked a very bad time to try to get it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, another chapter down.
> 
> I love reading your insights on the story so please let me know what you thought of this chapter.
> 
> Thanks so much for everyone who has read this far :-)
> 
> Danny
> 
> PS Robert is back in the next update.


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